好心没好报,人太鬼

篇一：好心为什么不得好报

好心为什么不得好报

“好心不得好报”，这句抱怨的话，我们经常听到。所谓“好心不得好报”，就是自己怀着一片好心，帮助别人做好事、说好话，好心好意教导、劝导别人，却得不到别人的报答和好感。现实生活中，好心不得好报现象确实存在，而且还不少。仔细分析，主要原因如下： a.越俎代庖。不管对方的感受和意愿，自以为是地越位行使自己的意志，令人反感。 b.张冠李戴。不管对方是否接受，喋喋不休地将自己的观点灌输给对方，强迫对方接受自己的那一套，令人厌恶。此现象多在长辈表现。

c.帮倒忙。好心行事，却把事搞砸了，使对方遭受损害，令人怨恨。

d.不合时宜。对方有了过错，已经很后悔，或者对方为某件不愉快事正在气头上，你却对他唠唠叨叨，令他烦上加烦，导致对方对你呵斥或顶撞。

e.多此一举。不管对方需要与否，理所当然地行事，令人不快。

作为群居的人类，相互照应是不可避免的。一个人，关爱他人，向他人行好心，那是理所应当的。有道是，人有七情六欲，人，付出了，都希望有回报。行好心，没好报，确实不爽。要实现好心有好报，避免好心没好报，以我之见，行好心应遵循以下原则：

一、 投其所好，帮助对方觉得需要帮助的事。要弄清本份，站对位置，千万不要越位、越权行事，否则，不仅出力不讨好，还要惹别人反感。只有恰如其分、恰到好处地行好心，你才能赢得别人好感。

二、雪中送炭，帮助对方希望你帮助他的事。有一位名人曾经说过：“帮人要雪中送炭，不要锦上添花。”此话是不无道理的，只有帮助别人希望帮助的事，别人才会感激你。如果别人不需要你也去行好心，别人对你的这一好心是无动于衷的，甚至会有多此一举的感受，你此举自然得不到好报。

三、量力而行，帮人必须让对方感到满意。你帮别人，要帮好，帮到位，别人满意了，自然会感激你。如果你觉得力不从心，没把握帮助好别人，你不如不行好心，否则，你帮了倒忙，别人不仅不感激你，而且还会怨你。

四、审时度势，劝导人要看场合、看对方心情而为。你开导、规劝别人，必须要深思熟虑，要考虑好别人是否能接受。你的劝导只有春风化雨，别人才对你有好感。如果你在开导中，别人已露不屑、不耐烦表情，你还喋喋不休地唠叨，你必遭别人反感；如果别人有错，

你在他人面前教导他，必遭厌恶；别人为某不快事正在怒头上、烦烦到极点，你最好不去唠叨，否则，会自讨没趣。

篇二：为什么好心没好报-

为什么好心没好报?

When Kent M. Keith was a Cub Scout in the 1950s, he had a great urge to do good deeds and pile up merit badges. Was it altruism? Ambition? A chance to feel better about himself? Was he really making a difference?

One day, his father set him straight. 'Kent,' he said, 'don't help the old lady cross the street unless she wants to go.'

Kent Keith, now 61, is CEO of the Greenleaf Center for Servant Leadership, a nonprofit organization based in Westfield, Ind., that trains and advises groups and individuals on practical and ethical ways of helping others. Most of us want to be effective, he says, 'to make the world better. But before you help people, you have to ask them, 'What do you need? What do you want?''

Every day, we see reminders of the limitations, and even the dangers, of good intentions. In Haiti, U.S. missionaries who said they only wanted to save orphaned children ended up arrested on child-trafficking charges. In Asian countries hit by the 2004 tsunami, residents still shake their heads over the warehouses filled with unusable donations, including winter coats and stiletto shoes. And earthquake-ravaged Chile is sure to receive its share of 'useless aid' in the days ahead.

The steady procession of such stories would have us believing the old axiom that 'no good deed goes unpunished.' How can we better calibrate good intentions in our own lives?

The answer, from activists and academics who study the human impulse, is blunt. Throw out any ideas of winning praise for your work-be honest, most of us want to be stroked-and build up some armor to take hits. A growing field of organizations has sprung up to advise people looking to donate, time or money, to help potential donors achieve these steps.

'Throw away your assumptions about what people need,' advises Tori Hogan, a 27-year-old activist who has traveled the world studying the

effectiveness of aid programs. Beyond Good Intentions, the Cambridge, Mass.-based charity-watchdog organization she founded, posts videos on its Web site that evaluate aid projects.

Ms. Hogan tells of going to a village in Peru where an aid group brought in tourists to help build public toilets. The group ran out of money and time, the tourists ended their volunteering vacations, and the toilets

were never completed. The aid group had thought access to restroom facilities was needed to boost living standards, Ms. Hogan says. 'But when I asked people in the community what they wanted, they said, 'What we really needed was irrigation, and to have our bridge fixed, so we could take our goods to market.''

The never-completed toilets were gaping holes that had to be covered. Villagers feared their children would fall in.

Such failed efforts are often repeated across the developing world, and some aid workers resent it when Ms. Hogan points them out. Too bad, she says. As she sees it, it is irresponsible to believe that as long as we mean well, the details will figure themselves out. It's no excuse to say: 'Well, at least my heart was in the right place.'

It isn't always true that any help is better than no help. 'We see a lot of people coming to orphanages, attaching to kids, and they're gone in a week,' says Ms. Hogan.

In one of the Beyond Good Intentions videos, a woman who runs an orphanage in Argentina explains that when these short-term volunteers say goodbye, the orphans 'are left feeling empty.' Now, as soon as volunteers arrive, wary orphans often ask, 'How long are you here for?' Says Ms. Hogan: 'They're tired of having their hearts broken.'

In San Antonio, Jon Hansbrough received a parking ticket last year while briefly parked in a commercial loading zone. A church volunteer, he was delivering meals for a homeless shelter. He says the officer who issued the ticket told him he should have parked down the block and somehow carted the 500 pounds of food to the shelter.

At first, Mr. Hansbrough, a 66-year-old disabled veteran, was upset, and called on fellow parishioners 'to pray that public officials will develop compassion for the homeless and tolerance for those who feed them.' Being 'Punished'

But on reflection, he chose not to dwell on the fact that he was 'punished' while doing good. Instead, he now stays with his sport-utility vehicle in case an officer shows up, while some of the homeless men quickly unload the food. 'I'm answering to a higher calling,' he says.

Michael Grayson, who survived a more serious example of being 'punished' for a good deed, feels the same way. Last December, the 51-year-old

carpenter from Jacksonville, Fla., stopped along a roadway to help an 87-year-old woman whose car wouldn't start.

Mr. Grayson slid underneath her car, got it running by jumping the starter, but didn't realize the woman had left the car in drive. The car began to move and both the front and back tires rolled across him, crushing multiple bones. He has no insurance, and his medical bills now stand at $148,000. Medicaid and the woman's auto insurance have covered only a fraction of that amount, and his doctors expect him to be in a wheelchair until June. Still, Mr. Grayson says he has no regrets about helping that woman, and no hard feelings toward her. The lesson for him isn't that no good deed goes unpunished. Rather, he says, the lesson is to be more careful. 'I should have checked that the car was in park, and I should have blocked the tires before getting under the car,' he says.

He hopes his predicament won't dissuade anyone from following through on good intentions. 'Do all you can for other people,' he says. 'That's what makes the world go round.'

上世纪50年代，肯特?基斯(Kent M. Keith)曾经参加过幼年童子军(Cub Scout)，那时他非常希望多做好事，多拿奖章。他这种行为是因为乐于助人，还是出于野心，又或者是为了让自己感觉更好？他的所做所为是否真的带来了改变？

一天，父亲纠正了他的想法。父亲说，肯特，要是老婆婆自己不想过街就别硬搀着人家。

现年61岁的基斯是印第安纳州Westfield非营利组织“格林里夫服务型领导力中心”(Greenleaf Center for Servant Leadership)的CEO。这家组织就怎样以讲求实效、合乎道德的方式帮助他人向团体和个人提供培训及咨询。

他说，我们多数人都想尽力让世界变得更好，但在帮助别人以前，你得问问他们需要什么、想得到什么。

每天都有一些事例让我们看到，善意有其局限甚至是危险。在海地，一些美国传教士声称自己只想拯救孤儿，结果却因拐卖儿童的指控而被捕。在2004年海啸中受灾的亚洲国家，许多仓库里充塞着各种用不上的捐赠品──比如说冬装大衣和细高跟鞋，当地居民对此只能无奈摇头。受地震袭击的智利接下来肯定也会收到各种“无用援助”。

要是这样的故事不断上演，我们就会对“好心没好报”这句老话信以为真了。那么在我们自己的生活中，怎样才能更好地拿捏自己的善意呢？

活动人士和研究人类动机的学者给出的答案直截了当。那就是丢掉任何为了赢得赞美而做好事的想法──说实话，我们多数人都想听到溢美之辞──并准备好承

受打击。已经有一些组织如雨后春笋般涌现，为那些希望出力或捐钱的人提供咨询，以帮助潜在的捐赠者实现这两个步骤。

曾在世界各地研究各种援助项目有效性的27岁活动家多莉?霍根(Tori Hogan)说，对于人们需要什么，你得摒弃先入为主的想法。她在马萨诸塞州剑桥市创办了慈善监督组织“善意背后”(Beyond Good Intentions)，这家组织在自己的网站上发布评估各种援助项目的视频。

霍根讲起，她曾前往秘鲁的一个村庄，在那里，一家援助团体把游客带进来帮助修建公共厕所。最终这家团体耗尽了时间和资金，游客们结束了他们做志愿活动的假期，而厕所却一直没有完工。霍根说，援助团体以为公共厕所是提高生活标准所必需的，但我问当地人他们需要什么时，他们说，我们真正需要的是灌溉设施，以及把桥修好，方便我们把货物拿到市场上去卖。

未完工的厕所成了一个个大洞，必须填起来。村民们担心他们的孩子掉进去。 这种失策之举在发展中国家屡见不鲜，而当霍根指出来时，一些援助人员还颇感不快。她说，这样实在糟糕。她认为，以为只要用意是好的就行了，细节问题不用管，这样的想法很不负责任。“至少我是好心”这种话是绝对说不过去的。 有人帮忙总比没人帮忙强？其实也不一定。霍根说，我们看到很多人来到孤儿院和孩子们接触，但是过了一星期就音信全无。

在“善意背后”的一个视频中，阿根廷一家孤儿院的女性负责人讲解说，当这些短期志愿者离开后，孤儿们会觉得空虚。现在，志愿者们一到，警惕的孤儿们常常会问，你们会在这里呆多久？霍根说，他们不想总是伤心。

圣安东尼奥市的教会志愿者乔恩?汉斯布鲁(Jon Hansbrough)去年在一个商用装卸区短暂停车的时候，收到了一份违规停车罚单。当时他是在为一家无家可归者收容所送饭。他说，开罚单的警察告诉他，应该把车停在街区另一头，然后想办法用手推车把500磅重的食品送到收容所。

起初，66岁的残疾老兵汉斯布鲁觉得难过，他呼吁教区其他居民“祈祷公务人员培养出对无家可归者的同情，和对施食者的宽容”。

行善遭遇“恶报”

但经过反思，他决定不再老是纠结于做好事反遭“恶报”的想法。相反，汉斯布鲁现在是呆在自己的SUV里以备警察出现，同时让一些无家可归者快速卸载食品。他说：“我在回应一种更高的要求。”

迈克尔?格雷森(Michael Grayson)拥有一次更加严重的因行善而遭遇“恶报”的经历，他现在的想法也和汉斯布鲁一样。格雷森来自佛罗里达州，现年51岁，是一位木工。去年12月，他在马路上看到一位87岁老太太的车无法启动，于是停车去帮她。

格雷森钻到她车底下，通过外接电力给车打着火。但他没有意识到老太太在没有把车熄火的情况下离开了汽车。车辆开始移动，前后轮都辗过格雷森的身体，造成他多处骨折。他没有保险，目前的医疗费用达到了148,000美元。“Medicaid”医疗补助计划和老太太的车险只覆盖了很小的一部分，医生预计他直到6月份才能离开轮椅。

但格雷森说，他对帮助这位老太太一点也不后悔，对她也没有任何怨恨。他说，自己从中汲取的教训并不是“好心没好报”，而是要更加小心。他说，我当时应该确认车已经熄火，并且应该是挡住轮胎后再钻到车底下去。

他希望自己的遭遇不会影响任何人坚持行善。他说，要尽你所能帮助别人，这样世界才能正常运转。

篇三：为什么好心没好报-

为什么好心没好报?

When Kent M. Keith was a Cub Scout in the 1950s, he had a great urge to do good deeds and pile up merit badges. Was it altruism? Ambition? A chance to feel better about himself? Was he really making a difference?

One day, his father set him straight. 'Kent,' he said, 'don't help the old lady cross the street unless she wants to go.'

Kent Keith, now 61, is CEO of the Greenleaf Center for Servant Leadership, a nonprofit organization based in Westfield, Ind., that trains and advises groups and individuals on practical and ethical ways of helping others. Most of us want to be effective, he says, 'to make the world better. But before you help people, you have to ask them, 'What do you need? What do you want?''

Every day, we see reminders of the limitations, and even the dangers, of good intentions. In Haiti, U.S. missionaries who said they only wanted to save orphaned children ended up arrested on child-trafficking charges. In Asian countries hit by the 2004 tsunami, residents still shake their heads over the warehouses filled with unusable donations, including winter coats and stiletto shoes. And earthquake-ravaged Chile is sure to receive its share of 'useless aid' in the days ahead.

The steady procession of such stories would have us believing the old axiom that 'no good deed goes unpunished.' How can we better calibrate good intentions in our own lives?

The answer, from activists and academics who study the human impulse, is blunt. Throw out any ideas of winning praise for your work-be honest, most of us want to be stroked-and build up some armor to take hits. A growing field of organizations has sprung up to advise people looking to donate, time or money, to help potential donors achieve these steps.

'Throw away your assumptions about what people need,' advises Tori Hogan, a 27-year-old activist who has traveled the world studying the

effectiveness of aid programs. Beyond Good Intentions, the Cambridge, Mass.-based charity-watchdog organization she founded, posts videos on its Web site that evaluate aid projects.

Ms. Hogan tells of going to a village in Peru where an aid group brought in tourists to help build public toilets. The group ran out of money and time, the tourists ended their volunteering vacations, and the toilets

were never completed. The aid group had thought access to restroom facilities was needed to boost living standards, Ms. Hogan says. 'But when I asked people in the community what they wanted, they said, 'What we really needed was irrigation, and to have our bridge fixed, so we could take our goods to market.''

The never-completed toilets were gaping holes that had to be covered. Villagers feared their children would fall in.

Such failed efforts are often repeated across the developing world, and some aid workers resent it when Ms. Hogan points them out. Too bad, she says. As she sees it, it is irresponsible to believe that as long as we mean well, the details will figure themselves out. It's no excuse to say: 'Well, at least my heart was in the right place.'

It isn't always true that any help is better than no help. 'We see a lot of people coming to orphanages, attaching to kids, and they're gone in a week,' says Ms. Hogan.

In one of the Beyond Good Intentions videos, a woman who runs an orphanage in Argentina explains that when these short-term volunteers say goodbye, the orphans 'are left feeling empty.' Now, as soon as volunteers arrive, wary orphans often ask, 'How long are you here for?' Says Ms. Hogan: 'They're tired of having their hearts broken.'

In San Antonio, Jon Hansbrough received a parking ticket last year while briefly parked in a commercial loading zone. A church volunteer, he was delivering meals for a homeless shelter. He says the officer who issued the ticket told him he should have parked down the block and somehow carted the 500 pounds of food to the shelter.

At first, Mr. Hansbrough, a 66-year-old disabled veteran, was upset, and called on fellow parishioners 'to pray that public officials will develop compassion for the homeless and tolerance for those who feed them.' Being 'Punished'

But on reflection, he chose not to dwell on the fact that he was 'punished' while doing good. Instead, he now stays with his sport-utility vehicle in case an officer shows up, while some of the homeless men quickly unload the food. 'I'm answering to a higher calling,' he says.

Michael Grayson, who survived a more serious example of being 'punished' for a good deed, feels the same way. Last December, the 51-year-old

carpenter from Jacksonville, Fla., stopped along a roadway to help an 87-year-old woman whose car wouldn't start.

Mr. Grayson slid underneath her car, got it running by jumping the starter, but didn't realize the woman had left the car in drive. The car began to move and both the front and back tires rolled across him, crushing multiple bones. He has no insurance, and his medical bills now stand at $148,000. Medicaid and the woman's auto insurance have covered only a fraction of that amount, and his doctors expect him to be in a wheelchair until June. Still, Mr. Grayson says he has no regrets about helping that woman, and no hard feelings toward her. The lesson for him isn't that no good deed goes unpunished. Rather, he says, the lesson is to be more careful. 'I should have checked that the car was in park, and I should have blocked the tires before getting under the car,' he says.

He hopes his predicament won't dissuade anyone from following through on good intentions. 'Do all you can for other people,' he says. 'That's what makes the world go round.'

上世纪50年代，肯特?基斯(Kent M. Keith)曾经参加过幼年童子军(Cub Scout)，那时他非常希望多做好事，多拿奖章。他这种行为是因为乐于助人，还是出于野心，又或者是为了让自己感觉更好？他的所做所为是否真的带来了改变？

一天，父亲纠正了他的想法。父亲说，肯特，要是老婆婆自己不想过街就别硬搀着人家。

现年61岁的基斯是印第安纳州Westfield非营利组织“格林里夫服务型领导力中心”(Greenleaf Center for Servant Leadership)的CEO。这家组织就怎样以讲求实效、合乎道德的方式帮助他人向团体和个人提供培训及咨询。

他说，我们多数人都想尽力让世界变得更好，但在帮助别人以前，你得问问他们需要什么、想得到什么。

每天都有一些事例让我们看到，善意有其局限甚至是危险。在海地，一些美国传教士声称自己只想拯救孤儿，结果却因拐卖儿童的指控而被捕。在2004年海啸中受灾的亚洲国家，许多仓库里充塞着各种用不上的捐赠品──比如说冬装大衣和细高跟鞋，当地居民对此只能无奈摇头。受地震袭击的智利接下来肯定也会收到各种“无用援助”。

要是这样的故事不断上演，我们就会对“好心没好报”这句老话信以为真了。那么在我们自己的生活中，怎样才能更好地拿捏自己的善意呢？

活动人士和研究人类动机的学者给出的答案直截了当。那就是丢掉任何为了赢得赞美而做好事的想法──说实话，我们多数人都想听到溢美之辞──并准备好承

受打击。已经有一些组织如雨后春笋般涌现，为那些希望出力或捐钱的人提供咨询，以帮助潜在的捐赠者实现这两个步骤。

曾在世界各地研究各种援助项目有效性的27岁活动家多莉?霍根(Tori Hogan)说，对于人们需要什么，你得摒弃先入为主的想法。她在马萨诸塞州剑桥市创办了慈善监督组织“善意背后”(Beyond Good Intentions)，这家组织在自己的网站上发布评估各种援助项目的视频。

霍根讲起，她曾前往秘鲁的一个村庄，在那里，一家援助团体把游客带进来帮助修建公共厕所。最终这家团体耗尽了时间和资金，游客们结束了他们做志愿活动的假期，而厕所却一直没有完工。霍根说，援助团体以为公共厕所是提高生活标准所必需的，但我问当地人他们需要什么时，他们说，我们真正需要的是灌溉设施，以及把桥修好，方便我们把货物拿到市场上去卖。

未完工的厕所成了一个个大洞，必须填起来。村民们担心他们的孩子掉进去。 这种失策之举在发展中国家屡见不鲜，而当霍根指出来时，一些援助人员还颇感不快。她说，这样实在糟糕。她认为，以为只要用意是好的就行了，细节问题不用管，这样的想法很不负责任。“至少我是好心”这种话是绝对说不过去的。 有人帮忙总比没人帮忙强？其实也不一定。霍根说，我们看到很多人来到孤儿院和孩子们接触，但是过了一星期就音信全无。

在“善意背后”的一个视频中，阿根廷一家孤儿院的女性负责人讲解说，当这些短期志愿者离开后，孤儿们会觉得空虚。现在，志愿者们一到，警惕的孤儿们常常会问，你们会在这里呆多久？霍根说，他们不想总是伤心。

圣安东尼奥市的教会志愿者乔恩?汉斯布鲁(Jon Hansbrough)去年在一个商用装卸区短暂停车的时候，收到了一份违规停车罚单。当时他是在为一家无家可归者收容所送饭。他说，开罚单的警察告诉他，应该把车停在街区另一头，然后想办法用手推车把500磅重的食品送到收容所。

起初，66岁的残疾老兵汉斯布鲁觉得难过，他呼吁教区其他居民“祈祷公务人员培养出对无家可归者的同情，和对施食者的宽容”。

行善遭遇“恶报”

但经过反思，他决定不再老是纠结于做好事反遭“恶报”的想法。相反，汉斯布鲁现在是呆在自己的SUV里以备警察出现，同时让一些无家可归者快速卸载食品。他说：“我在回应一种更高的要求。”

迈克尔?格雷森(Michael Grayson)拥有一次更加严重的因行善而遭遇“恶报”的经历，他现在的想法也和汉斯布鲁一样。格雷森来自佛罗里达州，现年51岁，是一位木工。去年12月，他在马路上看到一位87岁老太太的车无法启动，于是停车去帮她。

格雷森钻到她车底下，通过外接电力给车打着火。但他没有意识到老太太在没有把车熄火的情况下离开了汽车。车辆开始移动，前后轮都辗过格雷森的身体，造成他多处骨折。他没有保险，目前的医疗费用达到了148,000美元。“Medicaid”医疗补助计划和老太太的车险只覆盖了很小的一部分，医生预计他直到6月份才能离开轮椅。

但格雷森说，他对帮助这位老太太一点也不后悔，对她也没有任何怨恨。他说，自己从中汲取的教训并不是“好心没好报”，而是要更加小心。他说，我当时应该确认车已经熄火，并且应该是挡住轮胎后再钻到车底下去。

他希望自己的遭遇不会影响任何人坚持行善。他说，要尽你所能帮助别人，这样世界才能正常运转。

篇四：为什么好心没好报-

为什么好心没好报?

When Kent M. Keith was a Cub Scout in the 1950s, he had a great urge to do good deeds and pile up merit badges. Was it altruism? Ambition? A chance to feel better about himself? Was he really making a difference?

One day, his father set him straight. 'Kent,' he said, 'don't help the old lady cross the street unless she wants to go.'

Kent Keith, now 61, is CEO of the Greenleaf Center for Servant Leadership, a nonprofit organization based in Westfield, Ind., that trains and advises groups and individuals on practical and ethical ways of helping others. Most of us want to be effective, he says, 'to make the world better. But before you help people, you have to ask them, 'What do you need? What do you want?''

Every day, we see reminders of the limitations, and even the dangers, of good intentions. In Haiti, U.S. missionaries who said they only wanted to save orphaned children ended up arrested on child-trafficking charges. In Asian countries hit by the 2004 tsunami, residents still shake their heads over the warehouses filled with unusable donations, including winter coats and stiletto shoes. And earthquake-ravaged Chile is sure to receive its share of 'useless aid' in the days ahead.

The steady procession of such stories would have us believing the old axiom that 'no good deed goes unpunished.' How can we better calibrate good intentions in our own lives?

The answer, from activists and academics who study the human impulse, is blunt. Throw out any ideas of winning praise for your work-be honest, most of us want to be stroked-and build up some armor to take hits. A growing field of organizations has sprung up to advise people looking to donate, time or money, to help potential donors achieve these steps.

'Throw away your assumptions about what people need,' advises Tori Hogan, a 27-year-old activist who has traveled the world studying the

effectiveness of aid programs. Beyond Good Intentions, the Cambridge, Mass.-based charity-watchdog organization she founded, posts videos on its Web site that evaluate aid projects.

Ms. Hogan tells of going to a village in Peru where an aid group brought in tourists to help build public toilets. The group ran out of money and time, the tourists ended their volunteering vacations, and the toilets

were never completed. The aid group had thought access to restroom facilities was needed to boost living standards, Ms. Hogan says. 'But when I asked people in the community what they wanted, they said, 'What we really needed was irrigation, and to have our bridge fixed, so we could take our goods to market.''

The never-completed toilets were gaping holes that had to be covered. Villagers feared their children would fall in.

Such failed efforts are often repeated across the developing world, and some aid workers resent it when Ms. Hogan points them out. Too bad, she says. As she sees it, it is irresponsible to believe that as long as we mean well, the details will figure themselves out. It's no excuse to say: 'Well, at least my heart was in the right place.'

It isn't always true that any help is better than no help. 'We see a lot of people coming to orphanages, attaching to kids, and they're gone in a week,' says Ms. Hogan.

In one of the Beyond Good Intentions videos, a woman who runs an orphanage in Argentina explains that when these short-term volunteers say goodbye, the orphans 'are left feeling empty.' Now, as soon as volunteers arrive, wary orphans often ask, 'How long are you here for?' Says Ms. Hogan: 'They're tired of having their hearts broken.'

In San Antonio, Jon Hansbrough received a parking ticket last year while briefly parked in a commercial loading zone. A church volunteer, he was delivering meals for a homeless shelter. He says the officer who issued the ticket told him he should have parked down the block and somehow carted the 500 pounds of food to the shelter.

At first, Mr. Hansbrough, a 66-year-old disabled veteran, was upset, and called on fellow parishioners 'to pray that public officials will develop compassion for the homeless and tolerance for those who feed them.' Being 'Punished'

But on reflection, he chose not to dwell on the fact that he was 'punished' while doing good. Instead, he now stays with his sport-utility vehicle in case an officer shows up, while some of the homeless men quickly unload the food. 'I'm answering to a higher calling,' he says.

Michael Grayson, who survived a more serious example of being 'punished' for a good deed, feels the same way. Last December, the 51-year-old

carpenter from Jacksonville, Fla., stopped along a roadway to help an 87-year-old woman whose car wouldn't start.

Mr. Grayson slid underneath her car, got it running by jumping the starter, but didn't realize the woman had left the car in drive. The car began to move and both the front and back tires rolled across him, crushing multiple bones. He has no insurance, and his medical bills now stand at $148,000. Medicaid and the woman's auto insurance have covered only a fraction of that amount, and his doctors expect him to be in a wheelchair until June. Still, Mr. Grayson says he has no regrets about helping that woman, and no hard feelings toward her. The lesson for him isn't that no good deed goes unpunished. Rather, he says, the lesson is to be more careful. 'I should have checked that the car was in park, and I should have blocked the tires before getting under the car,' he says.

He hopes his predicament won't dissuade anyone from following through on good intentions. 'Do all you can for other people,' he says. 'That's what makes the world go round.'

上世纪50年代，肯特?基斯(Kent M. Keith)曾经参加过幼年童子军(Cub Scout)，那时他非常希望多做好事，多拿奖章。他这种行为是因为乐于助人，还是出于野心，又或者是为了让自己感觉更好？他的所做所为是否真的带来了改变？

一天，父亲纠正了他的想法。父亲说，肯特，要是老婆婆自己不想过街就别硬搀着人家。

现年61岁的基斯是印第安纳州Westfield非营利组织“格林里夫服务型领导力中心”(Greenleaf Center for Servant Leadership)的CEO。这家组织就怎样以讲求实效、合乎道德的方式帮助他人向团体和个人提供培训及咨询。

他说，我们多数人都想尽力让世界变得更好，但在帮助别人以前，你得问问他们需要什么、想得到什么。

每天都有一些事例让我们看到，善意有其局限甚至是危险。在海地，一些美国传教士声称自己只想拯救孤儿，结果却因拐卖儿童的指控而被捕。在2004年海啸中受灾的亚洲国家，许多仓库里充塞着各种用不上的捐赠品──比如说冬装大衣和细高跟鞋，当地居民对此只能无奈摇头。受地震袭击的智利接下来肯定也会收到各种“无用援助”。

(转载于:www.smhaida.com 海 达 范 文网:好心没好报,人太鬼)

要是这样的故事不断上演，我们就会对“好心没好报”这句老话信以为真了。那么在我们自己的生活中，怎样才能更好地拿捏自己的善意呢？

活动人士和研究人类动机的学者给出的答案直截了当。那就是丢掉任何为了赢得赞美而做好事的想法──说实话，我们多数人都想听到溢美之辞──并准备好承

受打击。已经有一些组织如雨后春笋般涌现，为那些希望出力或捐钱的人提供咨询，以帮助潜在的捐赠者实现这两个步骤。

曾在世界各地研究各种援助项目有效性的27岁活动家多莉?霍根(Tori Hogan)说，对于人们需要什么，你得摒弃先入为主的想法。她在马萨诸塞州剑桥市创办了慈善监督组织“善意背后”(Beyond Good Intentions)，这家组织在自己的网站上发布评估各种援助项目的视频。

霍根讲起，她曾前往秘鲁的一个村庄，在那里，一家援助团体把游客带进来帮助修建公共厕所。最终这家团体耗尽了时间和资金，游客们结束了他们做志愿活动的假期，而厕所却一直没有完工。霍根说，援助团体以为公共厕所是提高生活标准所必需的，但我问当地人他们需要什么时，他们说，我们真正需要的是灌溉设施，以及把桥修好，方便我们把货物拿到市场上去卖。

未完工的厕所成了一个个大洞，必须填起来。村民们担心他们的孩子掉进去。 这种失策之举在发展中国家屡见不鲜，而当霍根指出来时，一些援助人员还颇感不快。她说，这样实在糟糕。她认为，以为只要用意是好的就行了，细节问题不用管，这样的想法很不负责任。“至少我是好心”这种话是绝对说不过去的。 有人帮忙总比没人帮忙强？其实也不一定。霍根说，我们看到很多人来到孤儿院和孩子们接触，但是过了一星期就音信全无。

在“善意背后”的一个视频中，阿根廷一家孤儿院的女性负责人讲解说，当这些短期志愿者离开后，孤儿们会觉得空虚。现在，志愿者们一到，警惕的孤儿们常常会问，你们会在这里呆多久？霍根说，他们不想总是伤心。

圣安东尼奥市的教会志愿者乔恩?汉斯布鲁(Jon Hansbrough)去年在一个商用装卸区短暂停车的时候，收到了一份违规停车罚单。当时他是在为一家无家可归者收容所送饭。他说，开罚单的警察告诉他，应该把车停在街区另一头，然后想办法用手推车把500磅重的食品送到收容所。

起初，66岁的残疾老兵汉斯布鲁觉得难过，他呼吁教区其他居民“祈祷公务人员培养出对无家可归者的同情，和对施食者的宽容”。

行善遭遇“恶报”

但经过反思，他决定不再老是纠结于做好事反遭“恶报”的想法。相反，汉斯布鲁现在是呆在自己的SUV里以备警察出现，同时让一些无家可归者快速卸载食品。他说：“我在回应一种更高的要求。”

迈克尔?格雷森(Michael Grayson)拥有一次更加严重的因行善而遭遇“恶报”的经历，他现在的想法也和汉斯布鲁一样。格雷森来自佛罗里达州，现年51岁，是一位木工。去年12月，他在马路上看到一位87岁老太太的车无法启动，于是停车去帮她。

格雷森钻到她车底下，通过外接电力给车打着火。但他没有意识到老太太在没有把车熄火的情况下离开了汽车。车辆开始移动，前后轮都辗过格雷森的身体，造成他多处骨折。他没有保险，目前的医疗费用达到了148,000美元。“Medicaid”医疗补助计划和老太太的车险只覆盖了很小的一部分，医生预计他直到6月份才能离开轮椅。

但格雷森说，他对帮助这位老太太一点也不后悔，对她也没有任何怨恨。他说，自己从中汲取的教训并不是“好心没好报”，而是要更加小心。他说，我当时应该确认车已经熄火，并且应该是挡住轮胎后再钻到车底下去。

他希望自己的遭遇不会影响任何人坚持行善。他说，要尽你所能帮助别人，这样世界才能正常运转。

篇五：好心没好报

好心没好报

五（一）马颖

唉，人人都说好心有好报，那一次我的好心一点也没好报。 那是 一个周末，奶奶带着小堂妹瑶瑶来了。过了一会儿，奶奶把照顾妹妹的重任交给后我，便放心的和妈妈上街去了。

我便和妹妹一起看起了电视，过了一会儿，在我没有注意的时候，妹妹去了我的卧室。只听“霹雳啪啦”一阵响声，我走了过去，一看，“妈呀，小祖宗，你想把我吓死呀！”我的眼前一片狼藉：床单在地上，被子已被拽到了地上，妹妹正抓着还没被拉下来的枕头往上爬。“瑶瑶！”我大喊一声，妹妹这才知道我生气了，嬉皮笑脸地说：“我……太阳出来我爬山坡，哦，不对，是太阳出来我爬上床……”我一脸哭笑不得的样子,因为我画完画后忘关彩笔盒了,妹妹把自己的脸画的红一道，蓝一道。

没办法,只好做做“好人”，帮妹妹收拾好“现场”，不让妈妈知道是她惹得祸。过了不久，妈妈回来了，妹妹迎面扑上去，娇声娇气的对妈妈说：“你看，姐姐把我的脸画成这样了。”妈妈看了，偷偷一笑，说：“传马颖。”我立刻跑上来，：“小民在，母亲大人在上，有何吩咐？”妈妈严厉地说：“大胆刁民，你敢欺负妹妹，真是胆大包天。”我真是丈二和尚，摸不着头脑，我没欺负妹妹呀？难道有人陷害我？我立刻辩解道：“小民不曾欺负妹妹，还请母亲大人明察！”妈妈又说：“大胆，你看妹妹脸上怎么回事？”我看看妹妹，说：“是她自己画的。”妈妈说：“还狡辩，我决定，没收你的彩笔油画棒等画画用的。

退朝。”啊～不会吧，这么倒霉，我怎么摊上了这么个“好妹妹”。

唉！真是的，好心帮助她，却被她反咬一口。真是好心没好报啊！

指导老师：马伟

体裁作文