关于剑的作文

篇一：剑七作文分析

写作应该是一件美好的事情，也是一件快乐的事情。它的美好和快乐来自一种经典的美，那就是朴素。然而，雅思培训的逐渐商业化和考生日益的功利心态，以及双方的相互作用，使得各种雅思写作辅导书上充斥着扭曲这种美感的材料。许多基础薄弱并缺乏判断力的考生因此陷入窘境。

本文的文本分析的材料来自2009年登陆中国大陆的剑桥雅思7册中考官所给的范文；

本文的分析标准来自雅思官方网站上的评分标准；

本文的目的在于重新回归雅思写作TASK 2部分的评分标准；

本文试图通过严肃性的学术分析，将考试的标准和考官的表现对应起来，按图索骥，找到可以借鉴的正确写作方法。

希望给正在备战雅思写作的考生一点复习的方向。

我们先来看剑七上第一篇雅思考题和考官的文章：

TEST 1 WRITING TASK 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task

Write about the following topic:

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should write at least 250 words.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

MODEL ANSWER

The relative importance of natural talent and training is a frequent topic of discussion when people try to explain different levels of ability in, for example, sport, art or music.

Obviously, education systems are based on the belief that all children can effectively be taught to acquire different skills, including those associated with sport, art or music. So from our own school experience, we can find plenty of

evidence to support the view that a child can acquire these skills with continued teaching and guided practice.

However, some people believe that innate talent is what differentiates a person who has been trained to play a sport or an instrument, from those who become good players. In other words, there is more to the skill than a learned technique, and this extra talent cannot be taught, no matter how good the teacher or how frequently a child practices.

I personally think that some people do have talents that are probably

inherited via their genes. Such talents can give individuals a facility for certain skills that allow them to excel, while more hard-working students never manage to reach a comparable level. But, as with all questions of nature

versus nurture, they are not mutually exclusive. Good musicians or artists and exceptional sports stars have probably succeeded because of both good

training and natural talent. Without the natural talent, continuous training would be neither attractive nor productive, and without the training, the child would not learn how to exploit and develop their talent.

In conclusion, I agree that any child can be taught particular skills, but to be really good in areas such as music, art or sport, then some natural talent is required.

这篇文章共281 字，满足250个字以上的基本字数要求。下面，我们需要分别从结构、内容和评分标准本身来分析这篇文章。

第一，从结构上考虑：

由于这篇文章的题型是Discuss，即讨论，因此，文章分四个部分：首段引入话题，中间段第一段讨论第一种说法，中间段第二段讨论第二种说法。最后一部分由两段组成，一段表达自己的观点，另外一段总结自己的观点。文章结构是符合这种题型的。考生也应该就此举一反三，归纳从剑三到剑七上其他考官写过的文章的结构，找出自己应对其他三种主流题型的固定分段方法。其他三种题型分别为“表态加论述”，“比较优缺点（有outweigh和无outweigh）”“问题原因措施”。

第二，从内容上来看，文章所涉及的话题为教育，是最高频的雅思写作话题。笔者将此文翻译如下（大部分为直译，可供考生作进行中翻英以及写长难句练习材料。这种方法能使雅思考生体会雅思写作风格，熟悉常用表达，总结高分句型和发现语法错误，可谓一举多得）：

当人们试图解释不同程度的（比方说）在体育、艺术或音乐方面的能力时，天赋和培训两者的相对重要性是一个经常拿来讨论的话题。

显然，许多教育体制都基于这样一种信仰—所有的孩子都能被有效地训练以获得不同的技巧，这里也包括那些和体育、艺术或音乐相关的技巧。因此，从我们读书的经历来看，我们能找到许多证据来证明这样一个观点---任何一个孩子都能从持续的教学和指导性的训练中得到这些技巧。

然而，一些人相信天生的才能就是能使那些通过训练才能进行体育活动或弹奏乐器的人和那些（自身）成为优秀运动员（或乐器弹奏者）的人区分开来的东西。 换句话说，这里更重要的是能力而不是所学的技巧，并且这种特别的天赋是不能被传授的，不论教师有多么优秀或者孩子进行多么频繁的操练。

我个人认为有些人确实有着可能是从他们基因里遗传下来的天赋。这些天赋能帮助这些个体掌握一定技巧，使得他们领先于其他人；而那些更加努力的学生却无法达到可以相提并论的高度。但是，跟所有涉及天赋还是教育（能成才）的其他问题一样，这两者并不是相互排斥的。优秀的音乐家或艺术家以及技艺超群的体育明星所取得的成功应不仅归功于好的训练，也同时是天赋的作用。没有天赋，长期训练将会既没吸引力也没什么成果，而没有训练，孩子是无法学习如何开发和发展他们得天赋的。

综上所述，我同意任何孩子都能被传授特定技巧的观点，但是要在音乐，艺术和体育等领域中出类拔萃，一些自然天赋不可或缺。

雅思写作第一项评分标准是Task Response，它具体包括三部分：

1) how fully and appropriately the candidate has answered all parts of the task

这里的重点是 “all parts of the task”，很多考生不理解。其实，也就是说每个题设当中的动词 “discuss both sides” 和 “give your own opinion” 考生是否都以不同的段落完成。很明显，考官的文章无懈可击，我们已经在第一部分的结构讨论中分析过这个问题了。详见上文。

2) the extent to which the candidate's ideas are relevant, developed and supported.

这里的重点是 “relevant”,“develop”,以及 “support”。我们首先来看

“relevant”，即文章有没有跑题，或者是否文章里面有废话可以被去掉，考生可以对照上文的中英双文仔细观察，没有一句话不是和主题相关的。所以“相关性”考官的范文做到了。而你自己写的文章呢？其次是 “develop”，观点有发展就一定不能原地踏步，而是有新的批判性思维和深入的观察。考官的范文充分地体现了这一点：在从事情两方面的分别讨论，一直到事情双方的逻辑关系，考官把握得十分到位。 请大家仔细阅读文章第四段，仔细体会这种思维的递进和发展。最后是 “support”，请大家阅读以下文字，具体体会句子之间总分关系（第一句“总”，而二三句“分”），即这里的支持和被支持的逻辑关系：

“这两者并不是相互排斥的。优秀的音乐家或艺术家以及技艺超群的体育明星所取得的成功应不仅归功于好的训练，也同时是天赋的作用。没有天赋，长期训练将会既没吸引力也没什么成果，而没有训练，孩子是无法学习如何开发和发展他们得天赋的。”

3) the extent to which the candidate's position is clear and effective

这里的重点是 “clear”和“effective”。考官的这篇文章思路是如何做到既想得明白又交代得清楚的？其实很简单。文章所有的句子可以分为两类，一类是别人的观点，一类是自己的观点。要知道，这一项评分标准中的position是指的自己的中心观点。所以把后一类把握清楚就可以了。作者的观点在原文中保持一致，第一，强调天赋的是先天的：I personally think that some people do have talents that are probably inherited via their genes；第二，强调天赋和训练都重要But, as with all questions of nature versus nurture, they are not mutually exclusive；最后得到自己的结论，所有的孩子都可以接受训练，但是成就往往还需要一点天赋：any child can be taught particular skills, but to be really good in areas such as music, art or sport, then some natural talent is required。这一二三点的一致性和层层递进是极其严密的逻辑。关键是，这三句话达到了在这层层递进中体现了一致性的效果，语言非常高效。实在是难得的范文。

第二项评分标准是Coherence and Cohesion，它具体包括两个部分：

1) how well the information and ideas are organised and presented,

including paragraphing

2) how well the information is linked

语言的衔接包括两个：一个是句子和句子的衔接，另外一个是段和段的衔接。前者连接方法有使用代词，重复关键词，排比句，同意转述和连接词。后者分为三种不同逻辑关系：并列，递进和转折。文章中均有体现。笔者就不在此赘述了。

第三项评分标准是Lexical Resource，它具体包括三个部分：

1) the range of vocabulary used

2) how accurately it is used

3) how appropriate it is for the task

小词：Obviously, However, including, allow, via, while, do, give, extra, as 大词：frequent, differentiate, inherit, facility, comparable, exceptional, continuous

词组：are based on, associated with, plenty of, be inherited via, mutually exclusive

地道表达：The relative importance, this extra talent, allow them to excel, nature versus nurture

同义转述：children, a child, a person, individuals, students, any child 第四项评分标准是Grammatical Range and Accuracy ：

1) the range of structures used

2) how accurately they are used

3) how appropriate they are for the task

考官的语言功底深厚，250字尽显语言的风采。句式多变化，具体如下： 简单句：they are not mutually exclusive.

并列句：Without the natural talent, continuous training would be neither attractive nor productive, and without the training, the child would not learn how to exploit and develop their talent.

复合句：Such talents can give individuals a facility for certain skills that allow them to excel, while more hard-working students never manage to reach a comparable level.

“There be”句型：there is more to the skill than a learned technique

比较句：In other words, there is more to the skill than a learned technique 长句：The relative importance of natural talent and training is a frequent topic of discussion when people try to explain different levels of ability in, for example, sport, art or music.

In conclusion, I agree that any child can be taught particular skills, but to be really good in areas such as music, art or sport, then some natural talent is required.

短句：they are not mutually exclusive.

下面这篇同样出自雅思考官的手。希望雅思考生能按照第一篇文章的分析方法来自行分析这第二篇文章。方法和顺序同上。要知道，做基础的文字分析也是扎实的练习语感和文字功底的方法。

TEST 3 WRITING TASK 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task

篇二：剑7例卷1作文

作文点评：1. 时间还是比较紧张，建议在卷子发下后就把文章结构、重点句式、加分单词确定好，待考试正式开始后，快速写作，留下一点时间（5分钟）来润色文章；

2. 检查时，除了看看是否有拼写错误之外，还应该把反复出现的词进行替换，把平淡的表达加深，使文章更有力量，可以参看书本第4、5章；

3. 小作文组成、构成那一部分单词再熟悉一遍。

进步：时间控制在了57分钟以内。

The table summarises data about consumer expenditure on different items in the year 2002 in five countries – Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden, and Turkey.

According to the table, while spending on food, drinks and tobacco makes up the largest part of national consumer expenditure in all five countries, spending on clothing and footwear or leisure and education is comparatively less. To be more exact, the spending on food, drinks and tobacco consist more than 15% of the total spending, with turkey registered as high as 32.14%. In contrast, the spending on the category of food, drinks and tobacco only make up 15.77% of Sweden’s national consumer expenditure. In term of spending on clothing and footwear, Italy spent the largest proportion (9.00%) among the five countries, whereas that only constitutes 5.40% Sweden’s expenditure. As for spending on leisure and education, 4.35% of Turkey’s expenditure went to this category while Spain spent only 1.98% on this category.

To sum up, the spending on food, drinks and tobacco comprises the largest proportion of expenditure in all five countries, though there is a marked difference between the real percentages.

Nowadays, whether a child without any talents can be taught to be a good sports person, musician etc. or not seems to become a frequent topic of discussion. While some people believe that some individuals are born with certain aptitude for music or sport, others firmly hold the view that any child can be taught to become a success sports man or a musician. Personally, I prefer the latter view.

It is widely accepted that the success of a person can be attributed to a variety of factors, which indicates that it is by no means unrealistic to train a child to be a musician if we take those factors into consideration. For example, the introduction of a relatively good tutor and a good learning environment would contribute to the success of a person. Besides, with the advancement in technology, an increasing number of equipments or tools are invented and manufactured to help a child to learn. Finally, education itself has the magic of transforming a person and making all possibilities. Numerous ordinary persons change their lives thanks to good education. A case in point is Lang Lang, a famous musician in china, started with no talents for piano, but he manages to become an outstanding person in the field of music through receiving education.

On the other hand, even though it is believed that any child can be taught to become a good sports man or musician, the factor of certain talents still plays a considerable role in one’s success. As a matter of fact, a child with talents is more likely to achieve success than other children who have

no aptitude. Nevertheless, possibilities are open for ordinary children.

Overall, in spite of the fact th

at certain talents may help a child to succeed, it is of great possibilities that a child, by receiving good-quality education, can become a good sports person or musician.

篇三：剑8两篇小作文

剑8第一篇：

The pie chart shows how farmland is degraded globally. According to the chart, overgrazing was the leading cause of land degradation worldwide, accounting for 35%. This is followed by deforestation, at 30%. Another important reason why land becomes less productive is over-cultivation, which is responsible for 28% of the total degraded land. The remainder (7%) is caused by other reasons.

The table compares the percentage of land degraded and the various reasons for degradation in three regions, namely North America, Europe and Oceania, during the 1990s. Of the three regions, Europe was the most seriously affected, with 23% of its agricultural land being degraded. This figure was higher than the percentages for North America and Oceania combined. In Europe, land clearance accounted for 9.8% of total degradation, whereas this only affected 0.2% of land in North America and 1.7% in Oceania. Europe also suffered from over-cultivation and overgrazing, at 7.7% and 5.5%, respectively. In contrast, Oceania has 13% of degraded land, and this was mainly caused by over-grazing (11.3%). The least affected region was North America, where only 5% of land was degraded, mainly due to over-cultivation (3.3%) and overgrazing (1.5%).

In summary, overgrazing is the most serious threat to farmland worldwide and Europe was the biggest victim of land degradation in the 1990s.

剑8第二篇

The pie charts show expenditure on running costs by a British school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.

In all three years, the greatest expenditure was on teachers’ salaries, which rose from 40% in 1981 to 45% twenty years later. The period had also seen a significant increase in spending on furniture and equipment, from 15% to 23%, despite a fall in 1991. Insurance, which only accounted for 2% in 1981, rose fourfold to reach 8% by 2001.

On the other hand, other workers’ pay fell from 28% to 15% of total spending in the same time frame. Although there was an increase in expenditure on resources such as books, which grew from 15% to 20% between 1981 and 1991, this figure dropped steeply to 9% by 2001.

Overall, during the period shown, there were increases in spending for staff salaries, equipment and insurance, but mostly at the expense of resources and other workers’ salaries.

篇四：剑4-8 大作文题目分类总结

剑桥雅思真题大作文题目分类总结（4-8）

Type 1：……→opinion

Q: To what extent do you agree or disagree with the point of the view? Cambridge IELTS 4

TEST 3:

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be government restrictions on what they do.

Cambridge IELTS 5

TEST 1:

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.

Cambridge IELTS 6

TEST 1:

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of society in which they are sold.

Cambridge IELTS 8

TEST 3:

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution What other measures do you think might be effective?

Type 2：……→fact

Q: Is it positive or negative to society?

None

Type 3：……→opinion/fact

Q: what’s your opinion?

Cambridge IELTS 5

TEST 4:

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life.

TEST 4:

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the

Type 4：……→fact

Q: Do you think advantages over disadvantages?

Cambridge IELTS 4

TEST 1:

of three of the following as media for communicating information. State which you consider to be is the most effective. Comics, books, radio, television, film, theatre

Cambridge IELTS 5

TEST 2:

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. (此题双方都要讨论，advantages和disadvantages比重一样)

Type 5：Some people think that……. But others think that…….

Q: Discuss the both sides and give your own opinion?

Cambridge IELTS 5

TEST 3:

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

Cambridge IELTS 6

TEST 2:

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions.

Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

TEST 3:

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviors. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences.

Cambridge IELTS 6

TEST 4:

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.

Cambridge IELTS 7

TEST 1:

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

Cambridge IELTS 7

TEST 2:

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

Cambridge IELTS 8

TEST 1:

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Type 6：……→fact→problem

类型

1. Fact+ reason+ solutions Cambridge IELTS 4

TEST 4: In many countries schools have severe problems with student behavior.

Cambridge IELTS 8

TEST 4:

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.

2. Fact+ problems (即由fact带来的消极影响)+solutions

None

3. Fact+ reasons+ influences(不是建议，而是对fact进行正负评价)

Cambridge IELTS 8

TEST 2:

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.

4. Fact + reasons+ importance(讨论fact的积极影响)

Cambridge IELTS 4

TEST 2:

Happiness is considered very important in life.

Cambridge IELTS 7

TEST 3:

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being.

篇五：剑六大作文

The chart which is given manifests the most important reasons for study according to age of student of interest and career.

When it comes to reasons for study for career, the rate of this item declines tremendously with the age goes up (80% to 18%). But the situation of studying for interest is absolutely different from the former reason; its rate comes up rapidly when people are getting much more mature than before. But there is a special circumstance, which happens in the group of middle age of 40-49. At that group, the rates of both items are completely the same (about 40%).

Turning to employer support, the heaviest weight was attached to people under 26(63%), follow by those between 26-29 and over 49. With the former being higher than the latter(51% and 44%). The last two places was distributed to those 30-39 and 40-49, which maintained extremely similar (33% and 37% for each)

Why did you use past tense at the third paragraph while using present tense at the second paragraph?

Maybe you can add a conclusion paragraph at the end to make the essay fulfilled.

By the way, you did make progress on the essay of this style.

作文素材