作业帮脱口秀,good,news
来源：学生作业帮助网 编辑：作业帮 时间：2024/11/12 11:58:20 初中作文
篇一：美国脱口秀十大热门话题
美国脱口秀十大热门话题
本文的脱口秀指NBC的Conan、Jay Leno和Jimmy Fallon，CBS的David Letterman和Craig Ferguson，还有ABC的Jimmy Kimmel。
美国晚间脱口秀开场主持人先来Monologue，就是讲时事笑话，以下十个笑点比较常用，特举例说明。
0. 小布什很傻 1. 克林顿花心 2. 奥巴马爱秀 3. 切尼很好战 4. 拜登很墨迹
5. 佩林很幼稚 6. 拉里金很老 7. 福克斯很右 8. NBC收视差 9. 中国很强大
基本上算是按内容总结一下我翻译过的Monologue 0. 小布什很傻 ―Former Vice President Dick Cheney is working on his memoirs. People say when the book comes out President Bush is not going to be happy. Not because the book is critical of Bush, but because it‘s one of those books that‘s all words.‖ -Conan O‘Brien 前副总统切尼在写回忆录，大家认为布什对这本书不会高兴，不是因为这本书批评了布什，而是因为这是一本全是字的书。
―Anybody here from Minnesota? Congratulations, you have a brand new senator, our old friend, Al Franken. Al is an interesting guy. Went from being a comedian to
politician. George Bush — the other way around.‖ – David Letterman 有来自明尼苏达的吗？恭喜，你们有了个新的参议员，我们的老朋友Al Franken，他可是个特搞笑的人，完成了从搞笑家到政治家的转变，布什，恰恰相反。 ―President Obama giving a lot of very important speeches. He gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in order to succeed they need to work hard and study hard. Then today, former President George W. Bush presented the rebuttal.‖ – Conan O‘Brien 奥巴马做了很多重要演讲，今晚他讲了医保问题，昨天他给了学生一个演讲，说要想成功就得努力学习努力工作，今天，布什站出来，用自己给了个反例。 The University of Chicago, where President Obama once taught law, they want to house the Barack Obama presidential library. The library will be just like President George W. Bush‘s library, except it will have books.
芝加哥大学，奥巴马曾经教书的地方，决定建一座奥巴马图书馆，跟布什图书馆差不多，但是里面有书。
1. 克林顿花心
―In a speech to the Clinton Global Initiative yesterday, President Obama thanked Bill Clinton for the extraordinary difference he has made since leaving the White House. Clinton then stood up and thanked
President Obama for keeping Hillary so busy.‖ – Jimmy Fallon
昨天在克林顿的Global Initiative年会上，奥巴马对克林顿离开白宫后所做的努力表示感谢，克林顿也感谢奥巴马让希拉里一直这么忙。 ―Former President Bill Clinton was recently asked about his wife Hillary‘s 11-day trip to Africa. And he said, ?I wish she were home.‘ Then he said, ?By which, I mean, I wish her home was Africa.‘‖ -Conan O‘Brien
前总统克林顿最近谈到妻子希拉里11天的非洲行时说，我希望她能待在家。接着补充到：我是指，我希望非洲是她的家。 Yesterday in New York, President Obama had lunch with former President Clinton. Afterwards, Clinton told Obama,
―Remember, if Hillary asks, we had lunch and dinner, then I slept over at your place.‖ 昨天奥巴马和克林顿在纽约共进午餐，饭后，克林顿跟奥巴马说，如果希拉里问的话，就说我们一起吃了午餐和晚餐，晚上我在你家睡的。 It‘s a great day for America, everybody. Yes, it is. It is our Secretary of State‘s birthday. It is Hillary Clinton‘s birthday. Happy birthday, Hillary. President Obama asked her what she wanted, she said, ―Your job.‖ 今天是重要的日子，我们国家国务卿希拉里的生日，奥巴马问她想要什么生日礼物，希拉里说：你的工作。 Bill Clinton is planning a romantic candlelight dinner tonight. Then he‘ll go home and see Hillary.
克林顿准备了一顿烛光晚餐，吃完他就回家见希拉里。 Did you hear this? Hillary Clinton busted her elbow. Apparently, she slipped and hit the floor when she went home to her husband early, unannounced. 听说了吗？希拉里伤了胳膊，他提前没告诉克林顿就回家结果滑到摔倒了地板上。
2. 奥巴马爱秀
By the way, the Emmys was the only Sunday television program that President Obama was not on yesterday. 艾美颁奖典礼是昨晚奥巴马唯一没出现的节目。 ―It was big night on television tonight. And instead of showing President Obama‘s healthcare speech that was on tonight, Fox aired its season premiere of ?So You Think You Can Dance.‘ I guess they wanted to give viewers a choice between hearing what‘s wrong with our country and watching what‘s wrong with our country.‖ – Jimmy Fallon
今晚电视屏幕有重头戏，除了FOX，所有公共电台都会播出奥巴马关于医保的演讲，FOX决定播出新一季的―舞林大会‖，这样观众可以选择是听我们国家哪里出了问题还是看我们国家哪里出了问题。
3. 切尼很好战 Some Republicans are saying they want Dick Cheney, that‘s right, Dick Cheney, to run for president in 2012. Of course, you have to remember that when they said this, Cheney was torturing them.
篇二：短句脱口秀
短句脱口秀
“口语要素”是李阳疯狂英语突破法的一个重要概念，特别地道，含含糊糊，一闪而过，听起来想一个单词一样的口语单位！李阳CRAZY要求学员必须首先掌握一定数量的口语要素，打好坚实的口语、听力基础，增强交流信心，达成说一句顶十句的疯狂境界和自信。
下面为大家提供口语要素365例精选。最好的验证是否掌握的方法是看着汉语脱口而出英文，或由别人说汉语，你立刻翻译成英文！不要只是反复地、机械地、大脑几乎麻木地读！一定要把这些句子变成你的拿手好戏，随时随地脱口而出，并经常用来自言自语以保持口腔肌肉高度灵活！
这些短句配有音频，里面的人用不同语速念同一个句子。有的地方发音较缓慢，较夸张，多听这些音频对提高语音很有帮助。
仔细听这些音频，注意单词的弱读 连读 和省读。
大声背诵，脱口而出。
? 每次听力课前要熟练背诵40个短句。
? 看到中文句子后，
? 若有3个或3个以上短句不能限时正确脱口而出，扣分1分。
? 若5个短句全部限时正确脱口而出，加0.5分。
建议与同桌/室友合作，一人说汉语，另一人则将对应的英语表达脱口而出。
1. Absolutely. (用于答话）当然是;正是如此
2.Absolutely impossible! 绝对不可能！
3.All I have to do is learn English. 我所要做的就是学英语。
4.Are you free tomorrow? 你明天有空吗?
5.Are you married? 你结婚了吗？
6.Are you used to the food here? 你习惯吃这儿的饭菜吗？
7.Be careful. 小心／注意。
8.Be my guest. 请便／别客气。
9.Better late than never. 迟到总比不到好。
10.Better luck next time. 祝你下一次好运。
11.Better safe than sorry. 小心不要出大错。
12.Can I have a day off? 我能请一天假吗？
13.Can I help? 要我帮忙吗？
14.Can I take a message? 要我传话吗？
15.Can I take a rain check? 你能改天再请我吗？
16.Can I take your order? 您要点菜吗？
17.Can you give me a wake-up call? 你能打电话叫醒我吗？
18.Can you give me some feedback? 你能给我一些反馈吗？
19.Can you make it？ 你能来吗？
20.Can I have a word with you? 我能跟你谈一谈吗？
21.Catch me later. 过会儿再来找我。
22.Cheer up! 高兴起来！振作起来！
23.Come in and make yourself at home. 请来，别客气。
24.Could I have the bill, please? 请把账单给我好吗？
25.Could you drop me off at the airport? 你能载我到飞机场吗？
26.Could you speak slower? 你能说得慢一点吗？
27.Could you take a picture for me? 你能帮我拍照吗？
28.Did you enjoy your flight? 你的飞行旅途愉快吗？
29.Did you have a good day today? 你今天过得好吗?
30.Did you have a nice holiday? 你假期过得愉快吗？
31.Did you have fun？ 你玩得开心吗？
32.Dinner is on me. 晚饭我请客。
33.Do you have a room available? 你们有空房间吗？
34.Do you have any hobbies? 你有什么爱好？
35.Do you have some change? 你有零钱吗？
36. Do you mind my smoking? 你介意我抽烟吗？
37.Do you often work out？ 你经常锻炼身体吗？
38.Do you speak English? 你会说英语吗？
39.Don't be so modest. 别这么谦虚。
40.Don't bother. 不用麻烦了。
41.Don't get me wrong. 别误会我。
42.Don't give up. 别放弃。
43.Don't jump to conclusions. 不要急于下结论。
44.Don't let me down. 别让我失望。
45.Don't make any mistakes. 别出差错。
46.Don't mention it. 不必客气。
47.Don't miss the boat. 不要坐失良机。
48.Don't take any chances. 不要心存侥幸。
49.Don't take it for granted. 不要想当然。
50.Don't worry about it. 别担心。
51.Easy come, easy go. 来得容易，去得也快。
52.Enjoy your meal. 请慢慢享用吧。
53.Easier said than done. 说时容易做时难。
54.First come, first served. 先到者先接受服务。
55.For here or to go? 在这儿吃还是带走？
56.Forget it. 算了吧。
57.Forgive me. 请原谅我。
58.Give me a call. 给我打电话。
59.Give my best to your family. 代我向你们全家问好。
60.Have him return my call. 让他给我回电话。
61.Have you ever been to Japan? 你去过日本吗？
62.Have you finished yet? 你做完了吗？
63.Have you got anything larger? 有大一点儿的吗？
64.Have you got that? 你明白我的意思吗？
65.Have you heard from Mary? 你收到玛丽的来信吗？
66.He is in conference. 他正在开会。
67.Help yourself, please. 请随便吃。
68.Hold your horses. 不要着急 耐心点儿。
69.How can I get in touch with you? 我怎样能跟你联络上？
70.How do I look? 我看上去怎么样？
71.How is it going? 情况怎么样？
72.How late are you open? 你们营业到几点？
73.How long did it last? 持续了多久？
74.How long will it take me to get there? 到那儿要多长时间？
75.How much is it? 多少钱？
76.How often do you eat out? 你隔多久在外面吃一次饭？
77.I apologize. 我很抱歉。
78.I appreciate your invitation. 感谢你的邀请。
79.I assure you. 我向你保证。
80.I bet you can. 我确信你能做到。
81.I can manage. 我自己可以应付。
82.I can't afford it. 我买不起。
83.I can't believe it. 我简直不敢相信。
84.I can't resist the temptation. 我不能抵挡诱惑。
85.I can't stand it. 我受不了。
86.I can't tell. 我说不准。
87.I couldn't agree more. 我完全同意。
88.I couldn't get through. 我打不通电话。
89.I couldn't help it. 我没有办法。
90.I didn't mean to. 我不是故意的。
91.I don't know for sure. 我不能肯定。
92.I enjoy your company. 我喜欢有你做伴。
93.I enjoyed it very much. 我非常喜欢。
94.I envy you. 我羡慕你。
95.I feel like having some dumplings. 我很想吃饺子。
96.I feel terrible about it. 太对不起了。
97.I feel the same way. 我也有同感。
98.I have a complaint. 我要投诉。
99.I have nothing to do with it. 那与我无关。
100.I haven't the slightest idea. 我一点儿都不知道。
101.I hope you'll forgive me. 我希望你能原谅我。
102.I know the feeling. 我知道那种感觉。
103.I mean what I say. 我说话算数。
104.I owe you one. 我欠你一个人情。
105.I really regret it. 我真的非常后悔。
106.I suppose so. 我想是这样。
107.I thought so, too. 我也这样以为。
108.I understand completely. 我完全明白。
109.I want to report a theft. 我要报一宗盗窃案。
110.I want to reserve a room. 我想预定一个房间。
111.I was just about to call you. 我正准备打电话给你。
112.I was moved.= I was touched. 我很受感动。
113.I wasn't aware of that. 我没有意识到。
114.I wasn't born yesterday. 我又不是三岁小孩。
115.I wish I could. 但愿我能。
116.I wouldn't worry about it, if I were you. 如果我是你，我就不会担心。 117.I'd like a refund. 我想要退款。
118.I'd like to deposit some money. 我想存点儿钱。
119.I'd like to make a reservation. 我想订票。
120.I'll be right with you. 我马上就来。
121.I'll check it. 我去查一下。
122.I'll do my best. 我将会尽我最大努力。
123.I'll get it. 我去接电话。
124.I'll give you a hand. 我来帮助你。
125.I'll have to see about that. 这事儿我得想一想再定。
126.I'll keep my eyes open. 我会留意的。
127.I'll keep that in mind. 我会记住的。
128.I'll pick up the tab. 我来付帐。
129.I'll play it by ear. 我将随机应变。
130.I'll see what I can do. 我会想想该怎么帮你的。
131.I'll show you. 我指给你看。
132.I'll take care of it. 我来办这件事。
133.I'll take it. 我要了。
134.I'll take your advice. 我接受你的忠告。
135.I'll think it over. 我仔细考虑一下。
136.I'll treat you to diner. 我想请你吃晚饭。
137.I'll walk you to the door. 我送你到门口。
138.I'm broke. 我身无分文。
139.I'm crazy about English. 我非常喜欢英语。
140.I'm easy to please. 我很随和。
141.I'm glad to hear that. 听到这消息我很高兴。
142.I'm glad you enjoyed it. 你喜欢我就高兴。
143.I'm good at it. 我做这个很在行。
144.I'm in a good mood. 我现在心情很好。
145.I'm in good shape. 我的身体状况很好。
146.I'm just having a look. 我只是随便看看。
147.I'm looking for a part-time job. 我正在找兼职工作。
148.I'm looking forward to it. 我盼望着这件事。
149.I'm lost. 我给搞糊涂了。
150.I'm not feeling well. 我感觉不舒服。
151.I'm not myself today. 我今天感觉不好。
152.I'm not really sure. 我不太清楚。
153.I'm on a diet. 我正在节食。
154.I'm on my way. 我这就上路。
155.I'm pressed for time. 我赶时间。
156.I'm sorry I'm late. 对不起，我迟到了。
157.I'm sorry to hear that. 听到这个消息我感到很遗憾。 158.I'm under a lot of pressure. 我压力山大。
159.I'm working on it. 我正在忙这事。
160.I've changed my mind. 我已经改变主意。 161.I've got a headache. 我头痛。
162.I've got my hands full. 我手头正忙。
163.I've got news for you. 我要告诉你一个消息。 164.I've got no idea. 我不知道。
165.I've had enough. 我受够了。
166.If I were in your shoes. 如果我站在你的立场上。 167.Is that OK? 这样可以吗？
168.Is this seat taken? 这位子有人坐吗？
169.It all depends. 视情形而定。
170.It can happen to anyone. 这事可能发生在任何人身上。171.It doesn't make any difference. 没差别，都一样。 172.It doesn't matter to me. 这对我来说无所谓。 173.It doesn't work. 它出故障了。
174.It drives me crazy. 它使我快要发疯了。
175.It isn't much. 这是微不足道的。
176.It really comes in handy. 有了它真是方便。 177.It slipped my mind. 我不留神忘了。
178.It takes time. 这需要时间。
179.It will come to me. 我会想起来的。
180.It will do you good. 这会对你有好处。
181.It won't happen again. 下不为例。
182.It won't take much time. 不会花很多时间的。 183.It won't work. 行不通。
184.It's nice meeting you. 很高兴认识你。
185.It's a deal. 一言为定。
186.It's a long story. 真是一言难尽。
187.It's a nice day today. 今天天气很好。
188.It's a once in a lifetime chance. 这是一生难得的机会。189.It's a pain in the neck. 这真是苦不堪言。这真讨厌。 190.It's a piece of cake. 小菜一碟。
191.It's a small world. 世界真小。
192.It's a waste of time. 浪费时间。
193.It's about time. 时间差不多了／是时候了。 194.It's all my fault. 都是我的错。
195.It's awesome. 棒极了。
196.It's awful. 真糟糕。
197.It's been a long time. 好久不见。
198.It's better than nothing. 总比没有好。
199.It's essential. 这是必要的。
200.It's hard to say. 很难说。
短句脱口秀
篇三：看美国脱口秀节目 学英语口语
看美国脱口秀节目 学英语口语
"I have a plan to end the war in both Iraq and Afghanistan. Here's what we do. We bring all our soldiers home. We send in our investment bankers. They'll screw up the place in six months. Six months!" --Jay Leno “我有一个计划，可以结束在伊拉克和阿富汗的战争。我们这么做。我们把我们所有的士兵撤回来。我们再送我们的投资银行家去那里。他们一定只需6个月就能把那里搞得一塌糊涂。 只要6个月！”-杰·雷诺
"A construction worker from Queens, New York, used Bernard Madoff's prison number to play the lottery and won. The guy won $1,500. Bernard Madoff, of course, is in prison for luring money from rich people in a giant scam that promised to make them richer. But don't confuse him with the state lottery, which lures money away from poor people in a giant scam that promises to make them richer." --Jay Leno
“纽约皇后区的一名建筑工人，用伯纳德·麦道夫监狱号码，买彩票中了奖。这个家伙中了1500美元。当然，伯纳德·麦道夫被关在监狱里，是因为他用‘保证赚钱’的巨大骗局，来吸走富人的钱。但是，请不要将他和州政府彩票所混淆。州政府彩票那是用保证赚钱的巨大骗局，来吸走穷人的钱。” ——杰·雷诺 March 25, 2009
"How many watched the President's news conference last night? He got a little testy there, you know. When he was asked why he waited three days to speak out against the AIG bonuses, President Obama said he likes to know what he's talking about before he speaks. So, yet another reversal of the Bush policies." --Jay Leno
“这里有多少人观看了昨晚总统的新闻发布会？当他被问到‘为什么等了三天他才大声疾呼表示反对AIG的奖金计划’的时候，你知道，他昨晚有点儿不高兴，奥巴马总统说，他喜欢在说话之前知道自己要说的是什么。所以，这又一是一项与布什的政策完全相反的奥巴马政策。”——杰·雷诺
"No, President Obama also unveiled his new border policy to fight the Mexican drug wars. Interesting. It consists of the feds buying up to 80 percent of all the Mexican cartels. You see, we're going to get all the toxic drugs out of the system. We're going to buy them up. We will be owners of the drug cartels. I'm trying to get something with that joke and it's going nowhere." --Jay Leno
“ 不，奥巴马总统还推出了新的边境政策，以打击墨西哥的毒品交易。有趣的是。新的政策是：由联邦政府收购所有墨西哥毒品垄断集团多达百分之八十的股份。看，我们将把所有的有毒资产——毒品从系统中清除掉。我们将把它们全部买进。我们将成为毒品集团的所有者。我试图从中找些笑话，可我实在找不到。” ——杰·雷诺
"Many people are complaining, though, that Obama is becoming too scripted. Last night, he was having an intimate moment with Michelle, and she said, 'Wait, are you reading the teleprompter?'" --Jimmy Fallon
“许多人都在抱怨，说奥巴马正在变得过于照本宣科了。昨晚，他正在和老婆米歇尔亲密的时候，老婆突然说，‘等等，你是不是正在用电子提词机啊？’” -吉米·法伦
"Did you hear about this? Nickelodeon's asking all children to unplug electronic devices for one minute on Earth Day to teach the importance of respecting the environment. I think it's a great idea, unless the kids are visiting their grandmother in a nursing home. Then that one minute is pretty rough. 'SpongeBob killed Nana. What happened?'" --Jimmy Fallon “你听说了吗？Nickelodeon儿童电视频道呼吁，所有的小孩在地球日那天拔掉家里电子设备的电源线一分钟，以教育他们尊重环境的重要性。我认为这是一个很好的主意，除非孩子们那天正在探访疗养院里的祖母。那样的话那断电的一分钟会是相当难受的。海棉宝宝谋杀祖母，怎么回事啊？” ——吉米·法伦
"The market rallied yesterday after the Treasury said it was going to help banks sell off their toxic assets. That's the big problem, banks can't sell toxic assets. Well, duh. I mean, I'm no economist, but maybe you should stop calling them toxic assets. Huh? Isn't that like KFC advertising salmonella chicken?" --Jay Leno
“昨天股场反弹了，之前美国财政部表示，将帮助银行出售其有毒资产。这是个大问题，银行跟本不可能出售有毒资产。嗨，笨瓜。我的意思是，我可不是经济学家，但也许应该立即停止称呼那些为有毒资产。对吗？这难道不就是像肯德基做广告说，要卖沙门氏菌鸡吗？”——杰·雷诺
"Mexico's government just offered a $2 million bounty on its top drug lords, which is different from what we do here in America. We give our biggest criminals bonuses." --Jimmy Fallon
“墨西哥政府刚刚宣布悬赏2百万美元捉拿墨西哥的首要毒枭，这种做法和我们在美国的做法有所不同。我们是给我们首要的罪犯发奖金。”-吉米·法伦
"Let's not forget the AIG company. The AIG stands for 'ain't I greedy?' No, they changed the name of the company today to 'AIU' Oh! Okay then. Everything's forgiven.' AIU for 'ain't I unethical?' There you are." --Craig Ferguson
“别忘了AIG公司。AIG三个字母代表‘Ain't I Greedy’我不贪心吗？ 不，今天他们把公司的名称改为AIU了。啊！好吧，那么。一切都可以原谅了。AIU是‘我不道德吗’，你看这事。”——克雷格·弗格森
"AIG changing their name is like Hitler changing his name and hoping people won't notice." --Craig Ferguson
“AIG改名字，就像是希特勒改名字，然后指望没人会注意到他改了名字。”——克雷格·弗格森
"Former President George W. Bush is now writing a book about the 12 toughest decisions that he had to make as president. He said each decision had three options -- rock, paper and scissors." --Jay Leno
“前总统布什现在正在写了一本书，是有关他任总统时必须做出的十二个最艰难的决定。他说，当时每一个决定都有三个选择——剪刀、石头、布。”——杰·雷诺
"In a move that will cost 300 Americans their jobs, the Federal government announced it will no longer buy American-made condoms made in Alabama. We're now going to buy cheaper condoms made in China. Does that make any sense? If Chinese condoms are so good, why are there over one billion Chinese people?" --Jay Leno
“美国政府宣布将不再购买美国在阿拉巴马制造的避孕套了，这一举措将会使300名美国人失去就业机会。我们将要购买中国制造更便宜的避孕套了。这有任何意义吗？如果中国制造的避孕套性能那么好的话，为什么会有10多亿的中国人哪？”——杰·雷诺
"Did you see this on '60 Minutes' last night? Michelle Obama is planting a vegetable garden on the White House lawn. You know the economy's bad when the Obamas are afraid of running out of food." --Jimmy Fallon “昨晚你们看到‘60分钟’电视节目中这个消息吗？米歇尔·奥巴马开始在白宫草坪上开辟一处小菜园子了。当奥巴马一家担心食物不够的时候，你们就应该知道经济有多糟糕了。”——吉米·法伦
March 20, 2009
"People made a big deal out of the fact this is the first time a sitting president has done a late-night show. We tried to have other presidents on, but President Bush went to bed every night at 9:00. And President Clinton always seemed to have other late-night plans." --Jay Leno
“有史以来第一次现任总统做访深夜脱口秀节目，大家对这个事实都大惊小怪。其实我们这个脱口秀节目组以前曾试图邀请过其他在任总统，但那时布什总统总是每晚九点就上床了。而克林顿总统在深夜似乎总是有其他的安排。”——杰·雷诺
"You know, we own AIG, right? We own 80% of it. And because of all of the outrage over these bonuses, armed guards now have to be placed outside the AIG offices. You know what that means? Not only are we paying the AIG executive bonuses, we are now paying to protect the executives from us. Does that make any sense to anybody?" --Jay Leno
“你们知道，我们拥有AIG，对吗？我们拥有AIG百分之八十的股份。然而由于对那些奖金引起的公愤，现在必须在AIG办公楼外设置武装警卫。你知道这意味着什么吗？我们不仅要给AIG高管们的奖金买单，我们现在还要为保护他们免遭我们攻击的安全费用买单。有人觉得这有任何意义吗？”-杰·雷诺
"Today is the first day of spring. Yeah, or, as Al Gore calls it, global warming." --Jay Leno
“今天是春季的第一天。是的，或者，用前副总统戈尔的话来说，全球变暖。”-杰·雷诺
"We spilled 25,000 barrels of oil into the Strait of Hormuz, by Iraq. And a U.S. Navy server ship collided with a submarine. Who else, but us, could invade the Middle East and lose oil? It's like robbing a bank and leaving your wallet." --Bill Maher
“我们在伊拉克那边的霍尔木兹海峡泄漏了25000桶石油。而且一艘美国海军服务船和一艘美国潜艇相撞。除了我们还有谁，可以入侵中东而又失去石油？这就像是你去抢劫一家银行，却落下了你自己的钱包。”——比尔·马赫
"There's a new bin Laden tape where he calls for the destruction of Somalia. That's right. Forget destroying America, that job is done." --Bill Maher “有一段新的本·拉丹录像，在录像里他号召摧毁索马里。没错。忘掉他那个摧毁美国的号召吧，那项任务已经完成了。”——比尔·马赫
"You saw what happened in San Diego yesterday? There were these two drug dealers the cops were chasing on the freeway, and they started to throw all the money out the window. The cops were not suspicious -- they thought it was Obama's motorcade." --Bill Maher
“昨天你目睹了圣地亚哥发生的事情吗？在高速公路上，有这两名毒贩遭到了警方的追逐，然后他们向车窗外撒出所有的钱。正在追逐的警察对此(钱从车子撒出来的行径)并没有起疑——他们认为他们追随的正是奥巴马的车队。”——比尔·马赫
"The president was in town this week. He spoke at the L.A. County
fairgrounds. I tell you, he's still got it. People were sleeping outside all night. They were homeless, but that's not the point. They love him." --Bill Maher
“总统本周正在本市。他在洛杉矶县露天市场发表演讲。我告诉你，他还是很受欢迎的。人们露宿街头。他们无家可归，但这不重要。重要的是—他们热爱他。”——比尔·马赫
篇四：看美国脱口秀节目 学英语口语
看美国脱口秀节目 学英语口语
"I have a plan to end the war in both Iraq and Afghanistan. Here's what we do. We bring all our soldiers home. We send in our investment bankers. They'll screw up the place in six months. Six months!" --Jay Leno “我有一个计划，可以结束在伊拉克和阿富汗的战争。我们这么做。我们把我们所有的士兵撤回来。我们再送我们的投资银行家去那里。他们一定只需6个月就能把那里搞得一塌糊涂。 只要6个月！”-杰·雷诺
"A construction worker from Queens, New York, used Bernard Madoff's prison number to play the lottery and won. The guy won $1,500. Bernard Madoff, of course, is in prison for luring money from rich people in a giant scam that promised to make them richer. But don't confuse him with the state lottery, which lures money away from poor people in a giant scam that promises to make them richer." --Jay Leno
“纽约皇后区的一名建筑工人，用伯纳德·麦道夫监狱号码，买彩票中了奖。这个家伙中了1500美元。当然，伯纳德·麦道夫被关在监狱里，是因为他用‘保证赚钱’的巨大骗局，来吸走富人的钱。但是，请不要将他和州政府彩票所混淆。州政府彩票那是用保证赚钱的巨大骗局，来吸走穷人的钱。” ——杰·雷诺 March 25, 2009
"How many watched the President's news conference last night? He got a little testy there, you know. When he was asked why he waited three days to speak out against the AIG bonuses, President Obama said he likes to know what he's talking about before he speaks. So, yet another reversal of the Bush policies." --Jay Leno
“这里有多少人观看了昨晚总统的新闻发布会？当他被问到‘为什么等了三天他才大声疾呼表示反对AIG的奖金计划’的时候，你知道，他昨晚有点儿不高兴，奥巴马总统说，他喜欢在说话之前知道自己要说的是什么。所以，这又一是一项与布什的政策完全相反的奥巴马政策。”——杰·雷诺
"No, President Obama also unveiled his new border policy to fight the Mexican drug wars. Interesting. It consists of the feds buying up to 80 percent of all the Mexican cartels. You see, we're going to get all the toxic drugs out of the system. We're going to buy them up. We will be owners of the drug cartels. I'm trying to get something with that joke and it's going nowhere." --Jay Leno
“ 不，奥巴马总统还推出了新的边境政策，以打击墨西哥的毒品交易。有趣的是。新的政策是：由联邦政府收购所有墨西哥毒品垄断集团多达百分之八十的股份。看，我们将把所有的有毒资产——毒品从系统中清除掉。我们将把它们全部买进。我们将成为毒品集团的所有者。我试图从中找些笑话，可我实在找不到。” ——杰·雷诺
"Many people are complaining, though, that Obama is becoming too scripted. Last night, he was having an intimate moment with Michelle, and she said, 'Wait, are you reading the teleprompter?'" --Jimmy Fallon
“许多人都在抱怨，说奥巴马正在变得过于照本宣科了。昨晚，他正在和老婆米歇尔亲密的时候，老婆突然说，‘等等，你是不是正在用电子提词机啊？’” -吉米·法伦
"Did you hear about this? Nickelodeon's asking all children to unplug electronic devices for one minute on Earth Day to teach the importance of respecting the environment. I think it's a great idea, unless the kids are visiting their grandmother in a nursing home. Then that one minute is pretty rough. 'SpongeBob killed Nana. What happened?'" --Jimmy Fallon “你听说了吗？Nickelodeon儿童电视频道呼吁，所有的小孩在地球日那天拔掉家里电子设备的电源线一分钟，以教育他们尊重环境的重要性。我认为这是一个很好的主意，除非孩子们那天正在探访疗养院里的祖母。那样的话那断电的一分钟会是相当难受的。海棉宝宝谋杀祖母，怎么回事啊？” ——吉米·法伦
"The market rallied yesterday after the Treasury said it was going to help banks sell off their toxic assets. That's the big problem, banks can't sell toxic assets. Well, duh. I mean, I'm no economist, but maybe you should stop calling them toxic assets. Huh? Isn't that like KFC advertising salmonella chicken?" --Jay Leno
“昨天股场反弹了，之前美国财政部表示，将帮助银行出售其有毒资产。这是个大问题，银行跟本不可能出售有毒资产。嗨，笨瓜。我的意思是，我可不是经济学家，但也许应该立即停止称呼那些为有毒资产。对吗？这难道不就是像肯德基做广告说，要卖沙门氏菌鸡吗？”——杰·雷诺
"Mexico's government just offered a $2 million bounty on its top drug lords, which is different from what we do here in America. We give our biggest criminals bonuses." --Jimmy Fallon
“墨西哥政府刚刚宣布悬赏2百万美元捉拿墨西哥的首要毒枭，这种做法和我们在美国的做法有所不同。我们是给我们首要的罪犯发奖金。”-吉米·法伦
"Let's not forget the AIG company. The AIG stands for 'ain't I greedy?' No, they changed the name of the company today to 'AIU' Oh! Okay then. Everything's forgiven.' AIU for 'ain't I unethical?' There you are." --Craig Ferguson
“别忘了AIG公司。AIG三个字母代表‘Ain't I Greedy’我不贪心吗？ 不，今天他们把公司的名称改为AIU了。啊！好吧，那么。一切都可以原谅了。AIU是‘我不道德吗’，你看这事。”——克雷格·弗格森
"AIG changing their name is like Hitler changing his name and hoping people won't notice." --Craig Ferguson
“AIG改名字，就像是希特勒改名字，然后指望没人会注意到他改了名字。”——克雷格·弗格森
"Former President George W. Bush is now writing a book about the 12 toughest decisions that he had to make as president. He said each decision had three options -- rock, paper and scissors." --Jay Leno
“前总统布什现在正在写了一本书，是有关他任总统时必须做出的十二个最艰难的决定。他说，当时每一个决定都有三个选择——剪刀、石头、布。”——杰·雷诺
"In a move that will cost 300 Americans their jobs, the Federal government announced it will no longer buy American-made condoms made in Alabama. We're now going to buy cheaper condoms made in China. Does that make any sense? If Chinese condoms are so good, why are there over one billion Chinese people?" --Jay Leno
“美国政府宣布将不再购买美国在阿拉巴马制造的避孕套了，这一举措将会使300名美国人失去就业机会。我们将要购买中国制造更便宜的避孕套了。这有任何意义吗？如果中国制造的避孕套性能那么好的话，为什么会有10多亿的中国人哪？”——杰·雷诺
"Did you see this on '60 Minutes' last night? Michelle Obama is planting a vegetable garden on the White House lawn. You know the economy's bad when the Obamas are afraid of running out of food." --Jimmy Fallon “昨晚你们看到‘60分钟’电视节目中这个消息吗？米歇尔·奥巴马开始在白宫草坪上开辟一处小菜园子了。当奥巴马一家担心食物不够的时候，你们就应该知道经济有多糟糕了。”——吉米·法伦
March 20, 2009
"People made a big deal out of the fact this is the first time a sitting president has done a late-night show. We tried to have other presidents on, but President Bush went to bed every night at 9:00. And President Clinton always seemed to have other late-night plans." --Jay Leno
“有史以来第一次现任总统做访深夜脱口秀节目，大家对这个事实都大惊小怪。其实我们这个脱口秀节目组以前曾试图邀请过其他在任总统，但那时布什总统总是每晚九点就上床了。而克林顿总统在深夜似乎总是有其他的安排。”——杰·雷诺
"You know, we own AIG, right? We own 80% of it. And because of all of the outrage over these bonuses, armed guards now have to be placed outside the AIG offices. You know what that means? Not only are we paying the AIG executive bonuses, we are now paying to protect the executives from us. Does that make any sense to anybody?" --Jay Leno
“你们知道，我们拥有AIG，对吗？我们拥有AIG百分之八十的股份。然而由于对那些奖金引起的公愤，现在必须在AIG办公楼外设置武装警卫。你知道这意味着什么吗？我们不仅要给AIG高管们的奖金买单，我们现在还要为保护他们免遭我们攻击的安全费用买单。有人觉得这有任何意义吗？”-杰·雷诺
"Today is the first day of spring. Yeah, or, as Al Gore calls it, global warming." --Jay Leno
“今天是春季的第一天。是的，或者，用前副总统戈尔的话来说，全球变暖。”-杰·雷诺
"We spilled 25,000 barrels of oil into the Strait of Hormuz, by Iraq. And a U.S. Navy server ship collided with a submarine. Who else, but us, could invade the Middle East and lose oil? It's like robbing a bank and leaving your wallet." --Bill Maher
“我们在伊拉克那边的霍尔木兹海峡泄漏了25000桶石油。而且一艘美国海军服务船和一艘美国潜艇相撞。除了我们还有谁，可以入侵中东而又失去石油？这就像是你去抢劫一家银行，却落下了你自己的钱包。”——比尔·马赫
"There's a new bin Laden tape where he calls for the destruction of Somalia. That's right. Forget destroying America, that job is done." --Bill Maher “有一段新的本·拉丹录像，在录像里他号召摧毁索马里。没错。忘掉他那个摧毁美国的号召吧，那项任务已经完成了。”——比尔·马赫
"You saw what happened in San Diego yesterday? There were these two drug dealers the cops were chasing on the freeway, and they started to throw all the money out the window. The cops were not suspicious -- they thought it was Obama's motorcade." --Bill Maher
“昨天你目睹了圣地亚哥发生的事情吗？在高速公路上，有这两名毒贩遭到了警方的追逐，然后他们向车窗外撒出所有的钱。正在追逐的警察对此(钱从车子撒出来的行径)并没有起疑——他们认为他们追随的正是奥巴马的车队。”——比尔·马赫
"The president was in town this week. He spoke at the L.A. County
fairgrounds. I tell you, he's still got it. People were sleeping outside all night. They were homeless, but that's not the point. They love him." --Bill Maher
“总统本周正在本市。他在洛杉矶县露天市场发表演讲。我告诉你，他还是很受欢迎的。人们露宿街头。他们无家可归，但这不重要。重要的是—他们热爱他。”——比尔·马赫
篇五：看美国脱口秀节目 学英语口语
看美国脱口秀节目 学英语口语
"I have a plan to end the war in both Iraq and Afghanistan. Here's what we do. We bring all our soldiers home. We send in our investment bankers. They'll screw up the place in six months. Six months!" --Jay Leno “我有一个计划，可以结束在伊拉克和阿富汗的战争。我们这么做。我们把我们所有的士兵撤回来。我们再送我们的投资银行家去那里。他们一定只需6个月就能把那里搞得一塌糊涂。 只要6个月！”-杰·雷诺
"A construction worker from Queens, New York, used Bernard Madoff's prison number to play the lottery and won. The guy won $1,500. Bernard Madoff, of course, is in prison for luring money from rich people in a giant scam that promised to make them richer. But don't confuse him with the state lottery, which lures money away from poor people in a giant scam that promises to make them richer." --Jay Leno
“纽约皇后区的一名建筑工人，用伯纳德·麦道夫监狱号码，买彩票中了奖。这个家伙中了1500美元。当然，伯纳德·麦道夫被关在监狱里，是因为他用‘保证赚钱’的巨大骗局，来吸走富人的钱。但是，请不要将他和州政府彩票所混淆。州政府彩票那是用保证赚钱的巨大骗局，来吸走穷人的钱。” ——杰·雷诺 March 25, 2009
"How many watched the President's news conference last night? He got a little testy there, you know. When he was asked why he waited three days to speak out against the AIG bonuses, President Obama said he likes to know what he's talking about before he speaks. So, yet another reversal of the Bush policies." --Jay Leno
“这里有多少人观看了昨晚总统的新闻发布会？当他被问到‘为什么等了三天他才大声疾呼表示反对AIG的奖金计划’的时候，你知道，他昨晚有点儿不高兴，奥巴马总统说，他喜欢在说话之前知道自己要说的是什么。所以，这又一是一项与布什的政策完全相反的奥巴马政策。”——杰·雷诺
"No, President Obama also unveiled his new border policy to fight the Mexican drug wars. Interesting. It consists of the feds buying up to 80 percent of all the Mexican cartels. You see, we're going to get all the toxic drugs out of the system. We're going to buy them up. We will be owners of the drug cartels. I'm trying to get something with that joke and it's going nowhere." --Jay Leno
“ 不，奥巴马总统还推出了新的边境政策，以打击墨西哥的毒品交易。有趣的是。新的政策是：由联邦政府收购所有墨西哥毒品垄断集团多达百分之八十的股份。看，我们将把所有的有毒资产——毒品从系统中清除掉。我们将把它们全部买进。我们将成为毒品集团的所有者。我试图从中找些笑话，可我实在找不到。” ——杰·雷诺
"Many people are complaining, though, that Obama is becoming too scripted. Last night, he was having an intimate moment with Michelle, and she said, 'Wait, are you reading the teleprompter?'" --Jimmy Fallon
“许多人都在抱怨，说奥巴马正在变得过于照本宣科了。昨晚，他正在和老婆米歇尔亲密的时候，老婆突然说，‘等等，你是不是正在用电子提词机啊？’” -吉米·法伦
"Did you hear about this? Nickelodeon's asking all children to unplug electronic devices for one minute on Earth Day to teach the importance of respecting the environment. I think it's a great idea, unless the kids are visiting their grandmother in a nursing home. Then that one minute is pretty rough. 'SpongeBob killed Nana. What happened?'" --Jimmy Fallon “你听说了吗？Nickelodeon儿童电视频道呼吁，所有的小孩在地球日那天拔掉家里电子设备的电源线一分钟，以教育他们尊重环境的重要性。我认为这是一个很好的主意，除非孩子们那天正在探访疗养院里的祖母。那样的话那断电的一分钟会是相当难受的。海棉宝宝谋杀祖母，怎么回事啊？” ——吉米·法伦
"The market rallied yesterday after the Treasury said it was going to help banks sell off their toxic assets. That's the big problem, banks can't sell toxic assets. Well, duh. I mean, I'm no economist, but maybe you should stop calling them toxic assets. Huh? Isn't that like KFC advertising salmonella chicken?" --Jay Leno
“昨天股场反弹了，之前美国财政部表示，将帮助银行出售其有毒资产。这是个大问题，银行跟本不可能出售有毒资产。嗨，笨瓜。我的意思是，我可不是经济学家，但也许应该立即停止称呼那些为有毒资产。对吗？这难道不就是像肯德基做广告说，要卖沙门氏菌鸡吗？”——杰·雷诺
"Mexico's government just offered a $2 million bounty on its top drug lords, which is different from what we do here in America. We give our biggest criminals bonuses." --Jimmy Fallon
“墨西哥政府刚刚宣布悬赏2百万美元捉拿墨西哥的首要毒枭，这种做法和我们在美国的做法有所不同。我们是给我们首要的罪犯发奖金。”-吉米·法伦
"Let's not forget the AIG company. The AIG stands for 'ain't I greedy?' No, they changed the name of the company today to 'AIU' Oh! Okay then. Everything's forgiven.' AIU for 'ain't I unethical?' There you are." --Craig Ferguson
“别忘了AIG公司。AIG三个字母代表‘Ain't I Greedy’我不贪心吗？ 不，今天他们把公司的名称改为AIU了。啊！好吧，那么。一切都可以原谅了。AIU是‘我不道德吗’，你看这事。”——克雷格·弗格森
"AIG changing their name is like Hitler changing his name and hoping people won't notice." --Craig Ferguson
“AIG改名字，就像是希特勒改名字，然后指望没人会注意到他改了名字。”——克雷格·弗格森
"Former President George W. Bush is now writing a book about the 12 toughest decisions that he had to make as president. He said each decision had three options -- rock, paper and scissors." --Jay Leno
“前总统布什现在正在写了一本书，是有关他任总统时必须做出的十二个最艰难的决定。他说，当时每一个决定都有三个选择——剪刀、石头、布。”——杰·雷诺
"In a move that will cost 300 Americans their jobs, the Federal government announced it will no longer buy American-made condoms made in Alabama. We're now going to buy cheaper condoms made in China. Does that make any sense? If Chinese condoms are so good, why are there over one billion Chinese people?" --Jay Leno
“美国政府宣布将不再购买美国在阿拉巴马制造的避孕套了，这一举措将会使300名美国人失去就业机会。我们将要购买中国制造更便宜的避孕套了。这有任何意义吗？如果中国制造的避孕套性能那么好的话，为什么会有10多亿的中国人哪？”——杰·雷诺
"Did you see this on '60 Minutes' last night? Michelle Obama is planting a vegetable garden on the White House lawn. You know the economy's bad when the Obamas are afraid of running out of food." --Jimmy Fallon “昨晚你们看到‘60分钟’电视节目中这个消息吗？米歇尔·奥巴马开始在白宫草坪上开辟一处小菜园子了。当奥巴马一家担心食物不够的时候，你们就应该知道经济有多糟糕了。”——吉米·法伦
March 20, 2009
"People made a big deal out of the fact this is the first time a sitting president has done a late-night show. We tried to have other presidents on, but President Bush went to bed every night at 9:00. And President Clinton always seemed to have other late-night plans." --Jay Leno
“有史以来第一次现任总统做访深夜脱口秀节目，大家对这个事实都大惊小怪。其实我们这个脱口秀节目组以前曾试图邀请过其他在任总统，但那时布什总统总是每晚九点就上床了。而克林顿总统在深夜似乎总是有其他的安排。”——杰·雷诺
"You know, we own AIG, right? We own 80% of it. And because of all of the outrage over these bonuses, armed guards now have to be placed outside the AIG offices. You know what that means? Not only are we paying the AIG executive bonuses, we are now paying to protect the executives from us. Does that make any sense to anybody?" --Jay Leno
“你们知道，我们拥有AIG，对吗？我们拥有AIG百分之八十的股份。然而由于对那些奖金引起的公愤，现在必须在AIG办公楼外设置武装警卫。你知道这意味着什么吗？我们不仅要给AIG高管们的奖金买单，我们现在还要为保护他们免遭我们攻击的安全费用买单。有人觉得这有任何意义吗？”-杰·雷诺
"Today is the first day of spring. Yeah, or, as Al Gore calls it, global warming." --Jay Leno
“今天是春季的第一天。是的，或者，用前副总统戈尔的话来说，全球变暖。”-杰·雷诺
"We spilled 25,000 barrels of oil into the Strait of Hormuz, by Iraq. And a U.S. Navy server ship collided with a submarine. Who else, but us, could invade the Middle East and lose oil? It's like robbing a bank and leaving your wallet." --Bill Maher
“我们在伊拉克那边的霍尔木兹海峡泄漏了25000桶石油。而且一艘美国海军服务船和一艘美国潜艇相撞。除了我们还有谁，可以入侵中东而又失去石油？这就像是你去抢劫一家银行，却落下了你自己的钱包。”——比尔·马赫
"There's a new bin Laden tape where he calls for the destruction of Somalia. That's right. Forget destroying America, that job is done." --Bill Maher “有一段新的本·拉丹录像，在录像里他号召摧毁索马里。没错。忘掉他那个摧毁美国的号召吧，那项任务已经完成了。”——比尔·马赫
"You saw what happened in San Diego yesterday? There were these two drug dealers the cops were chasing on the freeway, and they started to throw all the money out the window. The cops were not suspicious -- they thought it was Obama's motorcade." --Bill Maher
“昨天你目睹了圣地亚哥发生的事情吗？在高速公路上，有这两名毒贩遭到了警方的追逐，然后他们向车窗外撒出所有的钱。正在追逐的警察对此(钱从车子撒出来的行径)并没有起疑——他们认为他们追随的正是奥巴马的车队。”——比尔·马赫
"The president was in town this week. He spoke at the L.A. County
fairgrounds. I tell you, he's still got it. People were sleeping outside all night. They were homeless, but that's not the point. They love him." --Bill Maher
“总统本周正在本市。他在洛杉矶县露天市场发表演讲。我告诉你，他还是很受欢迎的。人们露宿街头。他们无家可归，但这不重要。重要的是—他们热爱他。”——比尔·马赫
初中作文