帮我点评一下这篇托福作文,看看能多少分Should the money invested into a university library be used to buy books or to buy computers?What do you think?Why?Nowadays With the rapid development of advanced the computer technology in the m

帮我点评一下这篇托福作文,看看能多少分Should the money invested into a university library be used to buy books or to buy computers?What do you think?Why?Nowadays With the rapid development of advanced the computer technology in the m
帮我点评一下这篇托福作文,看看能多少分
Should the money invested into a university library be used to buy books or to buy computers?What do you think?Why?
Nowadays With the rapid development of advanced the computer technology in the modern society,more and more people tend to search the information by the computer,and it is commonly and widely used in our day life.Obviously it is more efficient and convenient than reading the books.So the libraries often face the dilemma of whether to invest in books or computers.With all aspects carefully considered,I think invest in the computers would be a better choice
When the library equipped with computers,you may find the information swifter than before.The students can get the information as soon as they can if they use computers.In other words,you may take a lot of time on searching books on the bookshelf if you want to find some information on books in a traditional library without computers.On the contrary,if you want to find some information on computer,you can just typing the key words and clicking the mouse,after that,the information what you want is showed in your eyesight
Secondly,it is relatively easier for the librarian to management the computers rather than books.Well,for one thing just imagine that a lot of students are required by the teacher searching the information on the books with a couple of time and they are so busy that some of them did not put the books in place.Then the librarian should take a lot of time to put them back.But as to management the computers,what the librarian should do is just checking the mistakes on the computer periodically and turn them off regularly.All in all the computer could facilitate the librarian doing a lot of works.Another thing is that the books may circuit very fast and hard to copy therefore a lot of books may be destroyed by careless or accident and can’t be reserved for a long time.But as to computer the data and the information could be reserved permanently.
Admittedly,books do have it own advantages over computers.They are easy to carry,comfortable to read,however,the computers have more valuable merits as an efficient,durable,management means for libraries of the new century,and this is the important tendency of the modern world.
In conclusion,I reinforce my standpoint to choose to computers as my final choice for the investment.

帮我点评一下这篇托福作文,看看能多少分Should the money invested into a university library be used to buy books or to buy computers?What do you think?Why?Nowadays With the rapid development of advanced the computer technology in the m
我觉得呢,整体的结构很好很清楚,论述有条理.
好的地方就不说太多了,说点我感觉到的问题?倒也不算什么问题,我也是学生一起讨论吧.
个人倾向于把让步段往前面放 但是我考托福的时候让步也在后面,感觉也没问题.
支持段只有两个呀,可以补充一个,短一点也没关系
结尾虽然没有实际作用但是可以写的再充实一点吧……
语法有小地方的问题,但这个程度不会扣分.有些用词还能改进.
额……唉我也是比较弱的……我打分的话,给25吧

很好，至少不低于九十分。

句子结构稍微有点单调