帮我估一下大英四级2010.12我的作文分数~刚刚考完四级回来~以下是我在考试过程中写的作文.How Should Parents Help Children to be IndependentIt is commonly that parents take all aspects of their children into considerati

帮我估一下大英四级2010.12我的作文分数~刚刚考完四级回来~以下是我在考试过程中写的作文.How Should Parents Help Children to be IndependentIt is commonly that parents take all aspects of their children into considerati
帮我估一下大英四级2010.12我的作文分数~
刚刚考完四级回来~以下是我在考试过程中写的作文.
How Should Parents Help Children to be Independent
It is commonly that parents take all aspects of their children into consideration in this day and year.In fact,the disadvantages of this phenomenon far outweight the advantages.
We can't deny that it is not beneficial to children.In order to make children independent by themselves,we should spare no effort to make several points to conserve our children from jeopardy.To start with,let children alone from he or she was achild.Meanwhile,cultivate children's instance,confidence,sense of achievement and other comprehensive qualities.Last but not least,encourage children to explore and research let the understand how to think.
As far as I'm concerned,children call for us to give our votes to make them independent rather than boiling.It's our joint goal.
我这里很明显的一个单词错误就是我把spoil（溺爱）写成boil(煮熬)了~- -||
我感觉我这篇作文,开头第一段部分不应该写“弊远远大于利”观点,应该放在第二段,而第一段的第二句话应该写“The controversial issue/phenomenon has aroused wide public concern.”(Ps:555~米法改了~)
还有就是我之前特意记忆了一些好的短语,看着汉语意思都能写出它们.可在考场里就什么也想不起来了,自己想不起来去用它们,想不起要把它们加进作文里.5555~
比如 sth has aroused wide public concern（引起广泛关注） play an important role in(比如说父母对孩子的成长起着榜样作用) sense of competition and cooperation(竞争与合作精神) devoted to(致力于) hold different attitudes towards this issue(对这一问题持有不同态度) to some extent(在一定程度上) attach great importance to(对...重视) physically and mentally(身心) 还有一些牛X词汇 比如enhance highlight address devastate tackle necessitate inhumane severe evident apparent gap peril hazard humanity之类的拉~都没用上,可惜鸟额~
另外,由于考试紧张,我那字儿写的不咋滴,心跳快加上手一直抖,写的字母有点方型的.呵呵.还有就是划了一处.再有就是我感觉我这作文里有些地方给人感觉是为了写好的短语句子而去写的它们,感觉会有点不自然~
望有经验的、明白的、高手们、大虾们······帮看下能打多少分~3Q拉~
还有把 坚持、坚强的名词 instence 写错了 写成instance了

帮我估一下大英四级2010.12我的作文分数~刚刚考完四级回来~以下是我在考试过程中写的作文.How Should Parents Help Children to be IndependentIt is commonly that parents take all aspects of their children into considerati
83分 对于我来说有点像天书 我根据你上面的话评的.