给文章修改,提点意见(300字英文)Economy is considered as an important criterion to a country’s success.But others think there are still other factors that can measure a country’s success.What do you think are other factors?Which is more

给文章修改,提点意见(300字英文)Economy is considered as an important criterion to a country’s success.But others think there are still other factors that can measure a country’s success.What do you think are other factors?Which is more
给文章修改,提点意见(300字英文)
Economy is considered as an important criterion to a country’s success.But others think there are still other factors that can measure a country’s success.What do you think are other factors?Which is more important than economy?
With the amazing acceleration of industrialization and prosperity of economy,the positions of many countries stretch from the well-being society to more developed period that it is never undergone.Some economy experts contend that economy is considered as a crucial aspect to determine country’s success.Quite a few other scientists argued that there are many other areas that can identify whether a country’s success.The purpose of this essay is to explore the factors which will influence a country’s success and present my own opinion about which factor is most important.
First and foremost,the majority of educators believe that the quality of education system is one of the factors to influence country’s success.Generally speaking,it is no denying that the power of knowledge is a precondition of country’s success.This is because that professional technique in all-round aspects can be improved by the advanced knowledge.Internet,for instance,can encourage the world communication and international trade,which will increase the country’s economy.Therefore,it can be concluded that education can be considered as a significant factors to determine a country’s success.
Another important aspect to maintain a country’s success is healthcare system.It is universally acknowledged that most people will prefer to consider a good healthcare as a principle of country’s success that will stabilize their life rather than a country’s economy.To be specific,both infant death rate and average lifespan can represent the situation in a country whether success or not.Obama,for example,persuade the congress to pass the healthcare protocol,which will change the detrimental atmosphere that a wealth of US citizens cannot afford the basic healthcare.Hence,it can be concluded that a good healthcare system can determined a successful country.
To sum up,in spite of the fact that both economy and healthcare system are the crucial factor for a successful country,the quality of education system is predominant factor among those three aspects.So,in my own view,improving education system and narrow the gap of education quality between urban and rural areas are the first step to be a successful country.

给文章修改,提点意见(300字英文)Economy is considered as an important criterion to a country’s success.But others think there are still other factors that can measure a country’s success.What do you think are other factors?Which is more
第一段Economy is considered as an important criterion to a country’s success.But others think there are still other factors that can measure a country’s success.【这句话里有两个other,下一句又有other,读起来重复,可以改一下.】 What do you think are other factors?Which is more important than economy?【我觉得what 比 which 好.】
第二段 Some economy experts（写成 economists 也可以）contend that economy is considered as a crucial aspect to determine country’s success.
whether a country’s success【我认为应该是：whether a country is
sussess】
which factor is 【这里应该有个 the (最高级,楼主忘了吧)】most important.
as a significant factors 【factor 没有s,单数形式】
it is no denying 【应该是there is no denying,我不知道it is 可不可以】
第三段：one of the factors to 【不需要to,influence a country's success作定语修饰factors 省略 that】influence country’s success.
increase the country’s economy 【promote(促进)比increase(增加)好一点】
第四段：that most people will prefer to consider 【删掉will,不用,多余而且不通顺】
persuade the congress…… 【应该是persuading,作主语,用动名词形式】
个人认为,楼主一些词使用的频率有点高了,比如consider……可以换其他词代替,a country's success 也可以用it 代替.
有不对或有疑问的的地方,楼主一定要指出来,我们一起进步!
2009.11.12 20:07
真抱歉!昨天没有看到你的消息.
对不起.我漏看前面的 Obama 啦.是的是的,不应该改,应该加个ed