帮我也修改一篇六级作文吧.In society we have been becoming increasingly aware of phenomenon that psychologicalProblem are more and more common among university students.the problem is becoming so widespread that it has severely hindered th

帮我也修改一篇六级作文吧.In society we have been becoming increasingly aware of phenomenon that psychologicalProblem are more and more common among university students.the problem is becoming so widespread that it has severely hindered th
帮我也修改一篇六级作文吧.
In society we have been becoming increasingly aware of phenomenon that psychological
Problem are more and more common among university students.the problem is becoming so widespread that it has severely hindered the development of university students.university students is a huge power that contributes greatly to nation’s economy in the future..so we cannot emphasize the import of university students psychological health to much.
A number of factors account for the problem mentioned above.but the following are the most critical ones.In the first place,it is obvious that some student not get along with classmates or roommates made it hard to keeping psychological health,secondly,there is no doubt that frustrated romantic realationship is play significant role in student’s depression ,in addition.It goes beyond any question that an pressure from job-hunting and study have an bad influence on students psychological health.
from the discussed above ,we can safely draw the conclusion that we should improved our psychological quality so that we can face the challenge rationally,society should pay more attention to university students psychological health that give more forgive and care ,what’more ,university should attached greater important to students psychological health ,for example ,university should provided more oppoutunity for student to learn some psychological knowledge.
具体指出错误
希望能有高手逐字逐句的指正.
donggua1107,你凭什么说我是软件翻译的,那样我还要你改干什么!莫名其妙,还有,你改正的一两个地方根本不需要改动!哪两个句式是我仿照新东方的资料!

帮我也修改一篇六级作文吧.In society we have been becoming increasingly aware of phenomenon that psychologicalProblem are more and more common among university students.the problem is becoming so widespread that it has severely hindered th
In society we have been becoming increasingly aware of phenomenon that psychological
Problem are more and more common among university students.
不知道你得problem为什么要大写,害我半天都不知道怎么断句,哈哈.首先,我觉得in society听起来有点奇怪.嗯.我觉得have be becoming有点罗嗦,have become就可以说出你的意思了.Phenomenon应该用复数phenomena,problem也应该是复数.该成：In today’s society, we have become increasingly aware of phenomena that psychological problems are more and more common among university students.
the problem is becoming so widespread that it has severely hindered the development of university students.
这句话没什么问题,一开始的the要大写.
university students is a huge power that contributes greatly to nation’s economy in the future. so we cannot emphasize the import of university students psychological health to much.
这两句话应该并作一句话,确切地说,中间的句号应该用分号.英文中标点符号的使用相当严格,要小心.前半句中huge power和greatly感觉上有点重复.后半句我不太明白你要说什么.字面上讲,你在说“大学生是贡献国家经济的强大力量,所以我们不能再过于强调大学生心理健康”.好像跟你文章内容不太一致,你检查一下吧.还有几处显而易见的错误.Important是形容词,应该用importance；不是to much,而是too much.嗯.那你先把这句话的意思改了,我改次帮你再看语法吧.嗯.对了,还有,尽量不要用so,看起来比较小儿科.用therefore\ thus\ as a result之类的比较好.

A number of factors account for the problem mentioned above.but the following are the most critical ones.
这个地方也时,表示转折的时候不能用句号,要用逗号.后面的most改作more比较好,因为最高级通常只有一个.所以句子改成：
A number of factors can account for (或者用can be attributed to,你自己选咯) the problem mentioned above, but the followings are the more critical ones.
In the first place,it is obvious that some student not get along with classmates or roommates made it hard to keeping psychological health,secondly,there is no doubt that frustrated romantic realationship is play significant role in student’s depression ,in addition. It goes beyond any question that an pressure from job-hunting and study have an bad influence on students psychological health.
呃,怎么说呢,标点符号异常混乱.解释起来有点麻烦,县改了再说,有问题私下问吧.我这个人比较懒.
Firstly, it is obvious that some students do not get along with their classmates or roommates and this makes it extremely hard for such student to maintain their psychological health. Secondly, there is no doubt that frustrated relationship is playing a significant role in developing depression. In addition, It goes beyond any question that pressure from job-hunting and studies have bad influences (或者说negative impacts) on students’ psychological health.
主要是注意一下标点.是根据你的意思、我自己的断句写的,希望我没有理解错你的意思.有问题再问吧.顺便问一下,什么叫做“frustrated relationship”?我没听过着种说法啦,如果你要说“叫人心烦的关系”,应该用frustrating,而不是frustrated. 但是frustrate又有“使无效”的意思,所以frustrated relationship也可以理解做“已经无效了的关系”.所以你自己看着办吧.
from the discussed above ,we can safely draw the conclusion that we should improved our psychological quality so that we can face the challenge rationally,
这里应该用句号,这个句子完结了.from the discussed above 语法上没什么错误,就是听起来有点unprofessional,我建议用having discussed the above.the challenge中,首先,不应该用the,因为你并没有再强调某一个challenge,所以不应该用定冠词,建议使用future challenges. 所以句子改成：Having discussed the above ,we can safely draw the conclusion that we should improved our psychological quality so that we can face future challenges rationally.
但是还有几个问题,第一,“psychological quality”很vague,应该更具体一点,不过这个不重要.另外,从上面的文章来看,你一直使用第三人称“university students”,并未有表示你本人是大学生中的一员.而现在你忽然用“we”,感觉上有点突然.我觉得,可以在“A number of factors account for the problem mentioned above.but the following are the most critical ones.”之前加上“As a university student, I notice that……”
society should pay more attention to university students psychological health that give more forgive and care ,what’more ,university should attached greater important to students psychological health ,for example ,university should provided more oppoutunity for student to learn some psychological knowledge.
有what’more这种用法吗?我个人是没见过啦,不过看起来也不像是正是的书面用语,还是避免使用的好.嗯.
Thus, society should pay more attention to university students’ psychological health by forgiving and taking care(怎么都觉得有点奇怪,社会应该放更多的注意力在学生的心理健康上by原谅与照顾?); moreover, universities should attach greater importance to students’ psychological health by ,for example , providing more opportunities for students to learn some psychology knowledge.
具体分析今天晚上懒得打了,不明白的地方改天再问吧.
总结：第一,标点的使用很混乱.第二,有些地方的单复数、时态不够仔细.第三,语气和用词整体上把握得很好,而且没有出现“it’s”之类的缩写,嗯,值得肯定.大体上没什么问题,相信语法错误如果在小心点、仔细点也能减少不少,主要是标点的问题比较严重.加油.睡了.哈欠.