英语翻译最好是寓意深刻的故事,笑话也行…… 简短的,全文一两分钟能读完的样子那么长就可以了 越难翻译越好,但前提是要保证其正确性 还有 一定要带中文翻译哦

英语翻译最好是寓意深刻的故事,笑话也行…… 简短的,全文一两分钟能读完的样子那么长就可以了 越难翻译越好,但前提是要保证其正确性 还有 一定要带中文翻译哦
英语翻译
最好是寓意深刻的故事,笑话也行…… 简短的,全文一两分钟能读完的样子那么长就可以了 越难翻译越好,但前提是要保证其正确性 还有 一定要带中文翻译哦

英语翻译最好是寓意深刻的故事,笑话也行…… 简短的,全文一两分钟能读完的样子那么长就可以了 越难翻译越好,但前提是要保证其正确性 还有 一定要带中文翻译哦
The Gift of Life
On the very first day, God created the cow. He said to the cow, “Today I have created you! As a cow, you must go to the field with the farmer all day long. You will work all day under the sun! I will give you a life span of 50 years.”
The cow objected, “What? This kind of a tough life you want me to live for 50 years? Let me have 20 years, and the 30 years I’ll give back to you.” So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the dog. God said to the dog, “What you are supposed to do is to sit all day by the door of your house. Any people that come in, you will have to bark at them! I’ll give you a life span of 20 years.”
The dog objected, “What? All day long to sit by the door? No way! I’ll give you back my other 10 years of life!” So God agreed.
On the third day, God created the monkey. He said to the monkey, “Monkeys have to entertain people. You’ve got to make them laugh and do monkey tricks. I’ll give you 20 years life span.”
The monkey objected. “What? Make them laugh? Do monkey faces and tricks? Ten years will do, and the other 10 years I’ll give you back.” So God agreed.
On the fourth day, God created man and said to him, “Your job is to sleep, eat, and play. You will enjoy very much in your life. All you need to do is to enjoy and do nothing. This kind of life, I’ll give you a 20 year life span.”
The man objected. “What? Such a good life! Eat, play, sleep, do nothing? Enjoy the best and you expect me to live only for 20 years? No way, man! Why don’t we make a deal? Since the cow gave you back 30 years, and the dog gave you back 10 years and the monkey gave you back 10 years, I will take them from you! That makes my life span 70 years, right?” So God agreed.
And that's why...
In our first 20 years, we eat, sleep, play, enjoy the best and do nothing much. For the next 30 years, we work all day long, suffer and get to support the family. For the next 10 years, we entertain our grandchildren by making monkey faces and monkey tricks. And for the last 10 years, we stay at home, sit by the front door and bark at people!
生命的恩赐
第一天,上帝创造了牛.上帝对牛说：“今天,我创造了你.作为牛,你必须跟农夫下田,整天在日头下干活.我给你50年的生命.”
牛反对说：“这样的苦日子,你要我忍上50年?我只要20年,另外30年你收回吧.”上帝答应了.
第二天,上帝创造了狗.上帝对狗说：“你要整天坐在自家门口,有人进来就叫.我给你20年的生命.”
狗不乐意了,说：“什么?整天坐在门口?绝对不行!我只要10年就够了,其余的10年还给你吧.”上帝答应了.
第三天,上帝创造了猴子.上帝对猴子说：“你必须耍猴把戏,逗人开心,让他们捧腹大笑.我给你20年的生命.”
猴子可不干,说：“什么?逗人发笑?还要扮鬼脸,耍把戏?10年就行了,剩下的10年你留着吧.”上帝答应了.
第四天,上帝创造了人.上帝对人说：“你只要吃喝玩乐,休息睡觉,舒舒服服地过日子就行了.别的什么都不用做,只管尽情享受.我给你20年的生命.”
人有意见了,说：“什么?吃喝玩乐,休息睡觉,安逸享受?这样的好日子,才让我活20年?啊呀,不行!你看这样好不好?牛还给你30年,狗还了10年,猴子也还了10年,就把它们还的时间全给我吧.这样,我就能活上70年了,对吧?”上帝答应了.
这下,你明白了吧……
最初的20年,我们吃喝玩乐,休息睡觉,安逸享受.随后的30年,我们整天工作个不停,辛辛苦苦地养家糊口.接下来的10年,我们扮鬼脸,耍把戏,逗孙子孙女们开心.最后的10年,我们终日呆在家里,坐在门口,不住地对别人唠叨!

!.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer ...

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!.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"
一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"
2.Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?
Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.
Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.
妈妈:弗雷迪,你的脸为什么那么红?
弗雷迪:我刚才在大街上跑,为的是阻止一次打架?
妈妈:你做的对,谁和谁在打架.
弗雷迪:我和杰克·史密斯.

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一个聪明的孩子和一个笨孩子去考口试,老师问聪明的孩子;"谁发明了电灯","爱迪生","谁发现了雷","居里夫人",谁发现了地球有引力","牛顿",100分,聪明的孩子为了帮笨孩子把答案告诉了他,老师问;"你爸是谁","爱迪生","你妈是谁","居里夫人","谁告诉你的","牛顿".
A clever boy and a thickheaded child to oral exam, the...

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一个聪明的孩子和一个笨孩子去考口试,老师问聪明的孩子;"谁发明了电灯","爱迪生","谁发现了雷","居里夫人",谁发现了地球有引力","牛顿",100分,聪明的孩子为了帮笨孩子把答案告诉了他,老师问;"你爸是谁","爱迪生","你妈是谁","居里夫人","谁告诉你的","牛顿".
A clever boy and a thickheaded child to oral exam, the teacher ask clever boy, "Who invented the electric light," "Edison" and "who discovered the ray", "Madame Curie", who discovered the earth gravity ", ", "100 points, Newton, intelligent children to help the answer thickheaded child told him, the teacher asked," Who is your dad, ""," your mama Edison who is ", "Madame Curie", "who told you," "Newton".
有一个妙龄女子深夜要回家，走在路上惊觉有一个男人在后面紧跟着她。她走一步，他也走一步，跑，他也跟着跑。由于回家的路实在太偏僻了，无街灯又无半个行人，妙龄女子深觉情况不妙……最后经过一个墓园女子加快脚步，往坟墓堆里走去（那男的也跟了过去）然后在墓碑上坐下深深的吐了一囗气，说道：“呼！终于到家了！”再看那男的正撒脚丫子一溜风的跑了！
又一深夜，这位妙龄女子又独自回家，经过上次的机智脱险后，对自己十分的赞赏，深信自己若再碰上相同事件一定可以安然度过。说巧不巧，还真是让她发现又有一人跟在其身后，此位妙龄女子气定神闲地如法泡制，在墓碑处躺下，深深地吐了一囗气说道：“终于到家了。”那位仁兄，亦在其旁边的墓碑躺下，开心说道：“哈！原来你是我的邻居！”此位妙龄女子吓的当场拔腿就跑……
A young woman to go home at walking on the road, a man behind fixed at her. She step, he also step, run, he also follow to run. Because of the way home too remote, no streetlights and half a pedestrian, young woman deep sleep well... Finally after a cemetery woman hurried, walking toward the tomb of the man with the (past) and also in the tombstone down deep vomitted a kou spirit, said: "whew! Finally came home!" See that man is YiLiuFeng toes and run!
Another night, the young woman and go home alone, after the last out of his wit, very appreciated, if meets the same conviction of events can safely. Unfortunately, that is still opportunely, she found another person in the behind, with the young woman to like method, the expression steeped in the tombstone lie down and profoundly vomitted a kou spirit to say: "finally came home." The man beside it, but also the tombstone lie down, happy, said: "ha! Originally you are my neighbor!" The young woman was immediately
从前有一个人，他有一个女朋友。他比世界上任何一个人都爱她。
可是有一天，他女朋友无情的离开了他，甚至连一个理由都没给他。
看着自己的女朋友被别人挽着手逛街，他痛不欲生，失去了理智。终于有一天他把女朋友杀了。
本来他打算杀了她以后自杀的。可是将死之时才感到生命的可贵。
从此以后他天天被噩梦困扰，梦境中他女朋友赤身露体，披头散发，红舌垂地，十指如钩来向他索命。
噩梦把他折磨的形如销骨，一天他找来一个道士已求摆脱。
道士要他做三件事第一，把他女朋友的尸体好好安葬第二，把他女朋友生前穿的睡衣烧掉第三，把藏起来的血衣洗干净
所有的事情必须在三更之前完成，要不就会有杀身之祸！
他遵照道士的嘱咐把所有的事情都做的很仔细，可是那件血衣却怎么也找不到了。
马上就要三更了，豆大的汗珠从他脸上滴下来把地毯都打湿了。
在将要三更的时候他找到了那件血衣，可是不管怎么怎么搓就是洗不掉。
这时候忽然狂风大作，电闪雷鸣。窗户被狂风拍打的左右摇曳，玻璃的碎裂声让人更加心惊肉跳，突然所有的灯全灭了，整个屋子一片漆黑。闪电中，只见他女朋友穿着染满鲜血的睡衣，眼睛里滴着血，满脸狰狞的指着他厉声道： “ 你知道为什么洗不掉血迹吗？？”他被吓呆了一句话说不出
女朋友继续道：“因为你没有用雕牌洗衣粉，笨蛋。”
Once upon a time there was a man, and he has a girlfriend. He is the world no one to love her.
But one day, his girl friend heartlessly left him, even a reason to him.
Looking at his girlfriend by others, his arm shopping, lost his head. Finally one day he slew his girlfriend.
Was he going to kill her suicide. But when the dead will only feel of life.
Since then, he had been nightmare dreams of his girlfriend naked, with disheveled hair, red tongue hang, ten such as hook come to his death.
He tortured nightmare shaped like a day for him, pin to beg from a Taoist already.
Taoist him to do three things first, put his girlfriend's body to bury his girlfriend was second, third, wear pyjamas burn the hidden XieYi clean
All things must be finished before midnight, or will have a fatal disaster!
He charged with Taoist all things are done very carefully, but that blood dress but how also can not find it.
Immediately midnight, bean big sweat dribbled down his face on the carpet.
In the night when he will find out that blood dress, but no matter how rub is wash not to drop.
At this time, a strong wind was blowing. The window of the flap about the shattering of glass, let a person more nerve-racking, suddenly, all the lights are out, the whole room was dark. Lightning, see his girlfriend in full blood dyed eye drops of pajamas, with blood, a full face of ferociously point at his harsh voice way: "you know why won't wash out blood??" He was frightened words not said
Girlfriend continued: "because you didn't use diao card washing powder, idiot."

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