英语翻译我做手抄报 很需要 下面的怎么没中文翻译 不过没事。

英语翻译我做手抄报 很需要 下面的怎么没中文翻译 不过没事。
英语翻译
我做手抄报 很需要
下面的怎么没中文翻译 不过没事。

英语翻译我做手抄报 很需要 下面的怎么没中文翻译 不过没事。
hey Are Directly from America
Not long after an old Chinese women came back to china from her visit to her daughter in the Sates,she went to a city bank to deposit the U.S.dollars her daughter give her .At the bank counter ,the money was real.It mady out of patience.At last she couid not hold any more,uttering :“trust me,Sir,and trustthe money .They are real U.S.dollars.They.are directly from America.”
汉译：
真美钞
一位中国老妇人到美国去看望女儿回来不久,到一家银行取存女儿送给她的美元.在银行柜台,银行职员认真仔细的检查了每一张钞票看,是否有假.这种做法使老妇人很不耐烦,最后实在忍不住说：“相信我,先生,也请你相信这些钞票.这都是真正的美元,是从美国直接带来的.”
JOKE 1
Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day):I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.
Husband:I wish that too,so I could change you daily
JOKE 2
A little boy asked his father:Daddy,how much does it cost to get married?
The father replied:I don 't know son.I 'm still paying!
JOKE 3
At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home...He asks him:what are you doing?
The son replied:Dad I am fed up with my life!My newly marriage is not going well,my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other!I have to pay bills for my in-laws,and I hate this life!I want to go far from here,I want to taste every joy of life,and I want to have every fun of life!
Father said:Wait!I am coming with you
JOKE 4
A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session.Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answered:Thank you honey,what would you like me to bring for you?
The husband laughed and said:An English girl!
The woman kept quiet and left.Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked:So honey,how was the trip?
The wife:Very good,thank you.
The husband:And,what happened to my present?
The wife:Which present?
The husband:What I asked for:the English girl?
The wife:Oh,that!Well,I did what I could; now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl!
JOKE 5
A couple goes to an art gallery.They find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves.The wife doesn 't like it and moves on,but the husband keeps looking.The wife asks,"What are you waiting for?" The husband replies,"autumn."
JOKE 6
A man is sitting reading his newspaper when the wife sneaks up behind him and whacks(打) him on the head with a frying pan."What the hell was that for?" he asks."That was for the piece of paper in your trouser pockets with the name Mary Ellen written on it," she replies.Don 't be silly," he says."Two weeks ago when I went to the races(赛马),Mary Ellen was the name of one of the horses I bet on." She seems satisfied at this,and she apologizes.Three days later he 's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails(打,俚语) him with an even bigger frying pan,knocking him out cold.When he comes around,he asks again,"What the hell was that for?" "Your fucking horse just phoned."
JOKE 7
Wife to husband:you were so drunk last night that you insulted your boss.
Husband:piss on him!Wife:you did and he fired you!
Husband:fuck him!
Wife:I did and you can go back to work tomorrow.
JOKE 8
A couple drove several miles down a country road with intense silence.Not a word was said to each other.An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither wanted to concede his position.As they passed a barnyard of mules(骡子) and pigs,the wife sarcastically asked,"Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied,"in-laws ".
够吗 不够还有吧