给这篇高中英语作文打分(满分25),题目在这里：我的作文：To enrich senior high school students' after-class life,recently our school has formed a bunch of clubs for students with different interests and talents.Seeing many of my c

给这篇高中英语作文打分(满分25),题目在这里：我的作文：To enrich senior high school students' after-class life,recently our school has formed a bunch of clubs for students with different interests and talents.Seeing many of my c
给这篇高中英语作文打分(满分25),
题目在这里：



我的作文：To enrich senior high school students' after-class life,recently our school has formed a bunch of clubs for students with different interests and talents.Seeing many of my classmates join their favored clubs one after another,my eagerness to join in them grows stronger and stronger.Then one day,I came to my mother for permission.Unfortunately,she disagreed totally and told me that currently,what counts most is studying and I should devote my whole heart into my schoolwork.Despite the discouragement,I tried to get mother's supportness.So I got it across to her that taking part in out-of-class activities will contribute a lot to overcoming the huge pressure we face as the college entrance exam draws nearer and nearer.Eventually,my mother was convinced and showed her understanding to me.And now I'm living a colorful life with those various activities.请按照满分25分打分,最好是老师.悬赏积分少了可以再加,

给这篇高中英语作文打分(满分25),题目在这里：我的作文：To enrich senior high school students' after-class life,recently our school has formed a bunch of clubs for students with different interests and talents.Seeing many of my c
挺不错的.至少能拿个20分以上,要我打可能23左右.基本意思表达很好,语法和单词也不错,但是就是有些用法稍微有点感觉怪怪的.（别嫌我啊）
就这两句
“ Despite the discouragement, I tried to get mother's supportness” change to "Despite her disapproval, I tried to get her support."
"as the college entrance exam draws nearer and nearer." change to "draws near"
"my eagerness to join in them grows stronger and stronger" personally speaking, I would use the word “my interest in these clubs grows stronger and stronger"
"showed her understanding to me" change to ”showed understanding“
还有,用Mum好像更好啊,难道您整天管妈妈叫 "母亲”么?