雅思写作请高手看看,给点意见Environment benefits from tourismPeople usually think that tourism always harms environment such as pollutions and rubbish and so on.But we are also supposed to consider about the benefits which brought by tour

雅思写作请高手看看,给点意见Environment benefits from tourismPeople usually think that tourism always harms environment such as pollutions and rubbish and so on.But we are also supposed to consider about the benefits which brought by tour
雅思写作请高手看看,给点意见
Environment benefits from tourism
People usually think that tourism always harms environment such as pollutions and rubbish and so on.
But we are also supposed to consider about the benefits which brought by tourism,there are a lot of cities or districts which have been grown richer and stronger by tourism industry in China,take an instance,everybody know Guilin,because Guilin scenery tops in the world.
Tourism can beautify environment by an indirect way.For example,tourism may attracts investment and consume ,thus improves the local economic development and boosts local living standard.And those income which is acquired by tourism can use for altering environment.As a consequence,those income and environment improvement have been form a circle which makes the tourism region more beautiful and boom.
就是一段，老师要求写一段旅游带给环境的好处。所以没有开头结尾。
写起来感觉很难受，感觉没什么可写的。

雅思写作请高手看看,给点意见Environment benefits from tourismPeople usually think that tourism always harms environment such as pollutions and rubbish and so on.But we are also supposed to consider about the benefits which brought by tour
第一段 harm用的很糟糕 pollution已经包括rubbish了,重复
第二段 首先开头不用 and, but ,so 等连词. there are 前面用句号.
第二行去掉been, 后面的tourism= tourist industry ,二选一皆可!
第三行,take an instance改为 for instance
第四行,by改为in, attracts改为attract
第五行,thus不是连词,改为and, improves改为accelerate,boosts
改为improve.
第六行,去掉and,those改为the,去掉which is, use改为be used,
altering 改为improving
第七行,as a consequence改为in consequence, those改为the,去掉
been
最后一行, form改为formed, a circle中间加 virtuous, tourism 改为 tourist, boom没有形容词,换成thriving比较好
我粗略看了下~ 应该还有很多错误我还没发现.
楼上是托,她改的作文还有很多错误! 就是为了骗你去她网站,然后报名新东方! 不要相信她啊!

"我粗略看了下~ 应该还有很多错误我还没发现。"
貌似这位大虾是erbi?
金球迷
请问您是迷那支球队呢 ？千万别是中国队，他们脚臭嘴也臭，您千万别迷他们哦。如果不幸被我猜中了，那我教您解决方法。
1.回家用开水洗脚。because 高温消毒
2.抽自己100个大耳瓜子。because 口臭源于牙齿中藏有细菌，把牙抽掉就不怕了。如果您还不放心的话，最后绝...

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"我粗略看了下~ 应该还有很多错误我还没发现。"
貌似这位大虾是erbi?
金球迷
请问您是迷那支球队呢 ？千万别是中国队，他们脚臭嘴也臭，您千万别迷他们哦。如果不幸被我猜中了，那我教您解决方法。
1.回家用开水洗脚。because 高温消毒
2.抽自己100个大耳瓜子。because 口臭源于牙齿中藏有细菌，把牙抽掉就不怕了。如果您还不放心的话，最后绝招是用tranquilizer刷牙保证绝您后患。
不用客气O(∩_∩)O~

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