大家帮忙看看这篇Personal Statement 1.感激不尽“Dad.”Finally,I call him father.It is the first time I have accepted him in four years.Since I was born,I have never seen my biological father.Mother would not say anything about him.Whenev

大家帮忙看看这篇Personal Statement 1.感激不尽“Dad.”Finally,I call him father.It is the first time I have accepted him in four years.Since I was born,I have never seen my biological father.Mother would not say anything about him.Whenev
大家帮忙看看这篇Personal Statement 1.感激不尽
“Dad.”Finally,I call him father.It is the first time I have accepted him in four years.
Since I was born,I have never seen my biological father.Mother would not say anything about him.Whenever thought of my father’s left,I was felt that I would never obtain the love from him.But the appearance of my stepfather have cleaned up all the doubt and worries that stucked in my heart.He is a man who deserves my respect.
When I graduated from junior high school,I came to America with my mother.My stepfather helped me to find the senior high school,settle down our life.Since then,we can hardly spend time together .He rarely go home for dinner.At that time,I often lean on the windowsill and search for his figure.Yet for countless nights,until I’m sleep,he’s still wasn’t home.
One night,Mother is not at home and my stepfather was home late.After he’s home,he lie on the sofa.I put a quilt on him so that he won’t caught a cold.Suddenly,I found that there was some blood stain on his shirt,it makes me worry.After a closer look,I saw some peeling on his hand..At that time,I couldn’t hoes for me is selfless I burst into tears.My stepfather has been working hard for the family,I could feel that.I think I should give him more care .
I’m lucky because I have a selfless stepfather.To me,he’s my biological father.I gradually felt his sincere love for me,and his love for me is beyond compare.I will cherish my learning time so that I can get into a better university and achieve my dream .I want to use my lifetime to repay my parents in the future,especially my stepfather,the man who loves me the most in this world.
能否帮忙修改下,就看是否有语法错误,或单词使用不恰当的,可以再换其他更好的单词~
Thanks a lot

大家帮忙看看这篇Personal Statement 1.感激不尽“Dad.”Finally,I call him father.It is the first time I have accepted him in four years.Since I was born,I have never seen my biological father.Mother would not say anything about him.Whenev
- Whenever [I] thought of my [father leaving], I [-] felt that I would never obtain [-] love from him [anymore].
- .lean on the windowsill and search for his silhouette. ... until I'm asleep, he[-] still wasn't home.
- After he's home, he [laid] on the sofa [to rest]. I [pulled] a quilt [over] him so that he wouldn't [catch] a cold. ...blood stain on his shirt, and it [made] me worry. After a closer look, I saw some [wounds] on his hand. [That moment, I was so touched by his selflessness I burst into tears.] My stepfather [have] been working hard for the family, [and] I could feel that.
- To me, [it is as if] he is my biological father.
话说……一般personal statement都不是这么写的吧……?还是美国那边不一样?