我的第一篇托福作文,给个意见,agree or disagree,the media has paid too much attention to the personal lives of famous people!In recent years with the development of media and people spending more and more on TV,newspaper,and other media.Th

我的第一篇托福作文,给个意见,agree or disagree,the media has paid too much attention to the personal lives of famous people!In recent years with the development of media and people spending more and more on TV,newspaper,and other media.Th
我的第一篇托福作文,给个意见,
agree or disagree,the media has paid too much attention to the personal lives of famous people!
In recent years with the development of media and people spending more and more on TV,newspaper,and other media.The issue of how much attention the media pay should pay to the personal lives of famous people has been brought to public attention gradually.People in a growing number think that the media has paid too much attention to the personal lives of famous people.For my perspective ,I completely agree with them .
The main problem with media paying too much attention to the famous people is that it is ignorant of the basic fact that the media should make its information it provides to the public as wide as possible,but paying much attention to only the famous goes contrast to this.A recent statistic shows that the news about the personal lives of the famous occupied 78% time of most media,leaving a little space for the others people who should be paid attention equally by the public.For example when the famous takes too much space of media,a teacher who work in a poor village for ten years or a famer who is treated unfairly will have little chance to be noticed by the public through the way of media,and this goes against the main duty of media of acquainting the public with the general state of society,not the special.
Another reason for my perspective with the statement above is that for media,paying too much attention on the personal lives of the famous is not responsible to their audience,because the news which only concerns the famous can not satisfy all kinds of audience since everyone’s interest is different.A proper instance can be used to support this statement is that the information concerning some certain superstar just like what’s Zhangziyi’s favourate food or how tall Yao is worth nothing to majority of people despite satisfying their fans’ curiosity.And when most people can not get enough useful information from media ,the media neglects its duty.
But it is said “There is always tow sides to everything”.Appropriate information about famous people provide a access for the public to their lives,acquainting us with their virtue ,encouraging everyone to becoming a successful man.
In conclusion ,information about the famous has advantages,but its virtues cannot remedy its defects when media paying too much attention on the famous.So t is high time we took some measure to balance types of information media provide us and the media can fulfill its fiction rightly.
还有,大家如果有什么好的建议也可以告诉我,怎么准备作为,之类的!

我的第一篇托福作文,给个意见,agree or disagree,the media has paid too much attention to the personal lives of famous people!In recent years with the development of media and people spending more and more on TV,newspaper,and other media.Th
In recent years with the development of media and people spending more and more on TV,newspaper,and other media.
这句好像不太对呐~你的动词呢?
写英文不能按中文语序走的~
In recent years,people spend more and more time on TV,newspaper and other media since the fast developing media.
下一句应该是the media pays,这一句挺好的~
还有就是其实不用一直写famous people~Celebrities也可以,还有很多其他的词~一直重复会给人词穷的感觉呢^^
接下来的论证段不错,但是还有一些具体的小问题,第三人称单数~你用从句的时候就容易忘掉~
还有一点,其实你一直都只在同一点上转来转去,虽然你提出了两点反对意见,但都是关于过度报道名人私生活是会使人们的信息量变得很少,可不可以把话题拉的再宽一些?
第一点可以使你说的,媒体过分关注名人私生活是对受众们不付责任,因为人们还有其他的更多需要关注,比如global poverty还有global warming~你举得例子也很好~但是我不太喜欢你的第二点观点,因为众口难调是必然的事情,而且你的两点supporting details都只是关注与信息量有限的问题~
其实你可以从侵犯名人privacy的角度来写另一个anti-argument呐~比如说名人也是人,你不能要求他们24小时完全作为人们的role model出现,必要的私人空间是一定要维护的~
这样文章就会开阔一些了~
总体还是不错的~
继续加油哦~