请问这篇短文能得多少分?谢谢!【要求】How should Parents Help Children to Be independent? 1、 目前不少父母为孩子包办一切 2、 为了孩子独立,父母应该……【评分标准】28分—— 切题.表达思想清楚,

请问这篇短文能得多少分?谢谢!【要求】How should Parents Help Children to Be independent? 1、 目前不少父母为孩子包办一切 2、 为了孩子独立,父母应该……【评分标准】28分—— 切题.表达思想清楚,
请问这篇短文能得多少分?谢谢!
【要求】
How should Parents Help Children to Be independent?
1、 目前不少父母为孩子包办一切 2、 为了孩子独立,父母应该……
【评分标准】
28分—— 切题.表达思想清楚,文字通顺,连贯性较好.基本上无语言错误,仅有个别小错.
22分—— 切题.表达思想清楚,文字连贯,但有少量语言错误.（单复数,冠词,拼写,大小写）
16分 —— 基本切题.有些地方表达思想不够清楚, 文字勉强连贯；语言错误相当多,其中有一些是严重错误.（时态混乱,句子成分搭配不当）
10分 —— 基本切题.表达思想不清楚,连贯性差.有较多的严重语言错误
【答卷】
Some parents,in the presence【脑子一犯浑把present写成名词了】, always help their children to deal with all their trouble ,Which mainly shows in their life and other side,Obviously,It is hard to develop children‘s ability of independence,In other words, There is no need for parent to do so,On the contract.
Parents should try their’s best to make their children to be independent,In the first place,Parents had better consciously trained their children to settle their trouble by self,If their children have met some trouble hard to settle by self,Then,Parents could properly assist thier childer.What is more,Parents should tell children how to deal with the trouble than to directly help them,By doing which can their children easily settle their trouble in their future and now.
满分30.
28分—— 切题。表达思想清楚,文字通顺,连贯性较好。基本上无语言错误,仅有个别小错。
22分—— 切题。表达思想清楚,文字连贯,但有少量语言错误。（单复数，冠词，拼写，大小写）
16分 —— 基本切题。有些地方表达思想不够清楚, 文字勉强连贯；语言错误相当多,其中有一些是严重错误。（时态混乱，句子成分搭配不当）
10分 —— 基本切题。表达思想不清楚,连贯性差。有较多的严重语言错误

请问这篇短文能得多少分?谢谢!【要求】How should Parents Help Children to Be independent? 1、 目前不少父母为孩子包办一切 2、 为了孩子独立,父母应该……【评分标准】28分—— 切题.表达思想清楚,
你应该要说明你是在那一个阶段的（初中,高中,大学?）,这样才知道该怎么给分.
拖沓,用词不够精准,感觉不够清晰.好比开头,没必要用in the present,可以直接用Some parents nowadays...tend to...
用词方面基于我不知道你的阶段（初中,高中,大学）,所以不好评语,不过表达方面的用词可以根据程度有所改变.如：their life and other sides可以换成many aspects of their life.还有to develop children's ability of independence应该是to develop children's independence / to develop independence in children 另外还有 settle their troubles 应该要是 solve their troubles 还有met some troubles 应该要是 had/gotten some troubles
有语言错误,如：shows--shown,their trouble--their troubles,their's best--their best,self--themselves
概念不够清晰,如：In other words,There is no need for parent to do so,On the contract.（和前文不连贯）
用太多逗号了,其实没必要.
有一个学生常犯的错误就是沿用中文的语法习惯（例如过多的逗号）,应该要改掉.
加油.

24分差不多吧

25