大家看看我的雅思图表作文要怎么改啊.缩短,改正.The bar graph shows the change in rates of unemployed women in the U.S.over the period from 1982 to 1992.From the table,we can see clearly that the rates of unemployed women have diffe

大家看看我的雅思图表作文要怎么改啊.缩短,改正.The bar graph shows the change in rates of unemployed women in the U.S.over the period from 1982 to 1992.From the table,we can see clearly that the rates of unemployed women have diffe
大家看看我的雅思图表作文要怎么改啊.缩短,改正.
The bar graph shows the change in rates of unemployed women in the U.S.over the period from 1982 to 1992.From the table,we can see clearly that the rates of unemployed women have different on the average yearly salaries.
According to bar graph,the rates of unemployed women went up and down during one decade.From 1982 to 1987,the graph shows a decline in the number of unemployed women in the U.S.; however,in the year between 1987 and 1992,it just has a few rose.In 1982,the rates of unemployed women are highest during ten years.In 1987,the rate compare with 1992 has a lower percentage.The percentage of all women below at 10%,which the highest is 9.5% in 1982 and In 1987 and in 1992 the rates are almost equal,6%and 7% ,respectively.The black women were employed that have not position in the U.K.In 1982,the rate has the highest percentage of unemployed,which is 17.5%.In the period between 1987 and 1992 the rate remained level on 13%.The Hispanic women of unemployed rate are higher than white women.In 1982,the Hispanic women have 14 percent of unemployed.In 1987,the percentage of Hispanic women unemployed stays at 8%; however in1992 the rate is rise about 3%.The white women unemployed are lowest in the U.K.,which almost twice as less as black women.White women unemployed have different rates on 1982,1987,1992,which are8.5%,5.5%,6%,respectively.
As show in the table,the all women average earnings that are $20553 year-round.The white women’s average earnings is the most in the three kind of women,which is $20794.the black women is more than the Hispanic women,which is $18720 and $16244,respectively.

大家看看我的雅思图表作文要怎么改啊.缩短,改正.The bar graph shows the change in rates of unemployed women in the U.S.over the period from 1982 to 1992.From the table,we can see clearly that the rates of unemployed women have diffe
你掌握的句型不够,词汇变形太少.作文写出来要让考官就知道那幅图什么样,所以开头一定要写好,你没有做到.highest 可以改成top或者peak,不要用这样的表述,太小儿科了,毕竟考官不是中国老师啊,当然这只是一个小的地方,但是小的方面考官就能看出你的写作水平.定语从句不要滥用,准确最重要.建议你多背些同义近义词,对于写作和阅读都是有好处的.希望你能战胜雅思!