托福作文 请帮我看一下文章有什么错误,这是我根据李笑来托福作文的中文解释逆向倒翻的television destroyed communication among peopleAlthough television has some bad impact,it cannot destroy communication among friend

托福作文 请帮我看一下文章有什么错误,这是我根据李笑来托福作文的中文解释逆向倒翻的television destroyed communication among peopleAlthough television has some bad impact,it cannot destroy communication among friend
托福作文 请帮我看一下文章有什么错误,这是我根据李笑来托福作文的中文解释逆向倒翻的
television destroyed communication among people
Although television has some bad impact,it cannot destroy communication among friends and families.(这里family用复数好还是单数好 我想表达的是家庭和朋友)Even the claim seems to be exactly correct to some people that television can destroy communication among friends and families.
Television was invented in last century.It becomes one of the most powerful communication tools in history for its acceptable price and increasingly abundant programs and it is more and more difficult to ignore .Television is one part of our life such as eating,working,attending school ;survey constantly shows television takes the time (这里是the time好还是time好)as long as ordinary American children spending in school(是用on school吗)Every day we all only have24 hours so it is obvious that the time we spend on television more ,the less we can communicate with families or friends.Therefore newspapers or journals had the article which named “Television robs my husband”
Even though the statement is so vivid but it is not true .Not television but the daily increasing pressure of modern life robs her husband .We have not the exact evidence(我想表达确切的证据) to prove modern people bear more pressure than ancient people(我想表达以前的人) but it is true that people endure immense pressure from all around including work,study,economy aspect.The survey shows that the time of the people whose incomes over 50000 RMB each year having to spend at least 60hours on working each week that is much more than people earning 20000 RMB each year.(想说的是调查显示,年收入人民币五万元以上的人每周至少要花60个小时工作远远超过那些年收入两万元人民币的人,但是句子太长我不知道怎么办了,而且我觉得比较的对象是时间所以就特意把time提了出来) Today bachelor’s degree can not ensure a high salary.More and more companies ask at least master’s degree on want ads.That requests two or three years more than bachelor’s degree.
Present people（想表达的是现在的人们） almost have no time to do anything; television only is one of the abundant causes of destroying communication and it is not the main cause certainly.It seems the more education people accept,they can realize the bad influence of watching television too long more sharply so they can avoid it intentionally or they do not watch it at all.（想表达的是似乎人们接受的教育越多,就越能认识到过多地看电视所导致的有害影响,这里不知道怎么用the more the more的结构） On the other hand there are many people absorbing in television.In fact,if there is not television,they must find out other evasive ways such as intemperance and gambling.In other words people are always doing what they want.Therefore I do not agree with the statement of television destroying the communication among friends and families.

托福作文 请帮我看一下文章有什么错误,这是我根据李笑来托福作文的中文解释逆向倒翻的television destroyed communication among peopleAlthough television has some bad impact,it cannot destroy communication among friend
用families,the time,at school...
We don't possess the accurate evidence
anicent people 变成 the ancient
According to the survey,employers who earn more than fifty thousand yearly at least take up sixty hours to work per week,which substantially exceeds people with twenty thousand annual income.
个人觉得Currently,the public...会比较好
It seems that the more education individuals received the more negative effects of watching excessive TV programs will be rooted in their heart.