初中英语幽默故事

篇一：初中英语幽默小故事

初中英语幽默小故事:

奖赏

A lady lost her handbag. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.

Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."

The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."

The Bad Check

One day a middle-aged woman telephoned her doctor.

“Doctor,” she said, “I'm having a lot of trouble with my shoulder. It hurts all the time and I can't sleep at night.”

“Come in this afternoon.” said the doctor, “and I'll have a look at it.”

That afternoon the woman went to the doctor's office. He gave her a very thorough examination, asked a lot of questions, and listened carefully to her answers.

“Well, my dear,” he said, “It looks like you have arthritis.”

“Arthritis?”she said.“Oh, no! What am I going to do?”

“Don't worry,” he answered, “I'll give you a prescription and the pain will go away．”Then the doctor took out his pen, wrote a prescription, and handed her his bill for fifty dollars. The woman opened her pocketbook, wrote out a fifty-dollar check, said goodbye, and left.

The doctor mailed the check to his bank, but a week later he was surprised to find that the check was returned to him, marked “Insufficient Funds”. He telephoned the woman immediately.“I'm very sorry to have to tell you this.” he began, “but your check came back this week.”“Oh, really?”said the woman,“ That's quite a coincidence.”

“What do you mean?”asked the doctor.

“Well, ”said the woman, “so did my arthritis.”

You're Right

Once Mr Hey went to a small town with high mountains all around it. It was a quiet and cool place and some rich people liked to go there for their holidays. A week later, before Mr Hey left the town, he paid thirty pounds for a parrot. When he came back, he began to teach the bird to speak. He tried his best, but it learned only one sentence,“You're right.”He was disappointed and said to the bird angrily，“How foolish you are!”

“You're right,”said the parrot.

The next day Mr Hey took the bird to the market and wanted to sell it for eighty pounds. Before long a fat man came and looked at the parrot carefully. Then he asked,“How much is it, sir?”

Mr Hey didn't hurry to answer and said,“It's a clever bird, you know. It can speak and sing.”Then he said to the bird,“Are you really worth eighty pounds, my dear?

“You're right,”said the parrot.

The fat man liked it at once and bought it. When he took it home he asked it a lot of questions, but it could only say,“You are right.”

He felt very sorry for it and said to himself angrily,“Why did I spend eighty pounds on such a foolish bird? What a fool I am!

“You're right, answered the parrot.

Hearing this, the man couldn't help laughing and set it free．

伊索寓言——牧童和狼

A Shepherd-boy, who tended his flock not far from a village, used to amuse himself at times in crying out"wolf !wolf!"Twice or thrice his trick succeeded .The whole village came running out to his assistance when all the return they got was to be laughed at for their pains .At last one day the wolf came indeed .The boy cried out in earnest. But his neighbors, supposing him to be at his old sport, paid no heed to his cries, and the wolf devoured the sheep. So the boy learned, when it was too late, that liars are not believed even when they tell the truth.

译文：

一个放羊的孩子在离村子不远的地方放羊。他为了开心寻乐常喊："狼来了！狼来了！"他的恶作剧有两三次达到了目的。全村的人都跑来帮忙，而他们所得到的回报却是一顿嘲笑，白费了心力。最后，有一天狼真的来了。这个孩子认真地大喊起来。但是他的邻人们却以为他又在耍把戏，谁都不理会他的喊叫，于是狼把羊吃了。因此这牧童得到了教训：爱说谎的人，甚至在他说真话的时候，也没人相信他，但是他知道得太晚了。

词汇：

Shepherd-boy 牧羊童

trick 诡计

at his old sport 耍他的老把戏

篇二：中考英语阅读理解幽默故事

中考英语阅读理解·幽默故事

Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything—tutors (家庭教师), cards, special learning centers—in short, everything they could think of. Finally they took Tommy to a catholic (天主教的) school.

After the first day, little Tommy came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn’t kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread (铺开) out all over the room and little Tommy was hard at work. His mother was surprised. She called him down to dinner and as soon as he finished eating, he went back to his room, without a word. In no time he was back hitting the books as hard as before. This went on for some time, day after day while the mother tried to understand what was happening.

Finally, little Tommy brought home his report card. He quietly put it on the table and went up to his room and hit the books. His mom looked at it and to her surprise, little Tommy got an A in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity (好奇心). She went to his room and asked, “Son, what was it? Was it the nuns (修女)?” Little Tommy looked at her and shook his head, “No. ”

“Well then,” she asked again. “WHAT was it?”

Little Tommy looked at her and said, “Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that man nailed (钉) to the plus sign (加号), I knew they weren’t joking. ”

根据以上短文内容，然后从每题所给的四个选项中选择最佳选项。

1. Why did Tommy’s parents send him to a catholic school?

A. Because he could eat well there.

B. Because he could earn more about nuns.

C. Because his parents wanted him to do better in his math.

D. Because his parents didn’t want him to learn math any more.

2. Tommy’s mother felt surprised that his son _______.

A. was still the same as usualB. ate so much at dinner

C. kissed her hello after schoolD. worked hard but said little

3. “Hitting the books” means “_______” in Chinese.

A. 用功 B. 捶书 C. 发泄D. 振作

4. The last sentence in the passage shows that _______.

A. Tommy felt sorry for the mailB. Tommy was afraid of being nailed

C. Tommy didn’t like the plus sign D. Tommy liked playing jokes on others

5. From the passage, we can infer (推断) that _______.

A. teachers should be strict with their students B. mistaking (误解) might do good sometimes

C. a catholic school is much better than other ones D. nuns are good at helping children with their math

【答案与解析】

1. 选C。文章第1段说Tommy数学学不好，其父母想尽了一切办法都不奏效，最后将他送进了一所天主教的教会学校。

2. 选D。认真阅读第2段前面几句话，并注意以下信息：After the first day, little Tommy came home…didn’t kiss his mother hello…was hard at work…without a word. 可知答案应选D。

3. 选A。根据文章大意和Finally, little Tommy brought home his report card. He quietly put it on the table and went up to his room and hit the books这个句子的语境，可知hit the books的意思是“用功”。

4. 选B。Tommy学习一直不用功，但自从进了这所catholic school之后，情况就不一样了——整天都发狠读书，结果数学考试也得了A。这是为什么呢？文章在最后道出了其原因：Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that man nailed (钉) to the plus sign (加号), I knew they weren’t joking. 由此可知，Tommy是担心学习不用功会被钉在十字架上。

5. 选B。Tommy把the man nailed to the plus sign误解为“学习不用功的结果”，从而一改自己原来不好学的不良习惯，很快就把数学成绩赶了上去。可见，误解有时也可以起到好的效果。

Jean is a bright young woman who comes from a rich and famous family. She goes to a good university and has everything that money can buy. Well, almost everything. The problem is that the people in Jean’s family are so busy that they can hardly find time to be with her. In fact, Jean is quite lonely.

So Jean spends a lot of t

keeps in touch with quite often.

Last year Jean made a very special friend on QQ. His name was David and lived in San Francisco. David was full of stories and jokes. He and Jean had a common(共同的) interest in rock music and modern dance. So it always took them hours to talk happily on QQ and sometimes they even forgot their time. Of course, they wanted to know more about each other. David sent a picture of himself: He was a tall, good-looking young man with a big, happy smile. As time went by, they became good friends and often sent cards and small things to each other.

When Jean’s father told her that he was going on a business trip to San Francisco, she asked him to let her go with him so that she could give David a surprise for his birthday. She would take him the latest DVD of their favorite rock singer. But when she knocked on David’s door in San Francisco, she found that her special friend was a twelve-year-old boy named Jim!

根据以上短文内容，然后从每题所给的四个选项中选择最佳选项。

1. Jean spends a lot of her time on QQ because she is _______.

A. richB. famousC. young D. lonely

2. Jean thought “David” was special because he _______.

A. made her quite happy on QQ B. was from San Francisco

C. sent her a picture of himselfD. was tall and good-looking

3. When Jean and “David” met and introduced themselves to each other, who felt surprised?

A. “David”.B. Both “David” and Jean. C. Jean.D. Neither “David” nor Jean.

4. What’s the main idea of the passage?

A. Don’t believe those you get to know on QQ so easily.

B. People don’t use their real names on QQ so often.

C. Don’t go to meet those you get to know on QQ.

D. People should tell their real names to others on QQ.

【答案与解析】

1. 选D。由第1段的句子…In fact, Jean is quite lonely. 可知答案选D。

2. 选A。Jean认为David幽默风趣，在摇滚乐和现代舞上和她有共同的兴趣，他们可以在网上快乐地聊上几个小时。很显然David使得Jean很开心。答案选A。

3. 选C。文章的最后一句…she found that her special friend was a twelve-year-old boy named Jim!告诉我们，当Jean发现她那特殊的朋友是一个12岁的小孩时，用了一个感叹号结尾，虽然作者没有直接说Jean感到惊讶，但是我们可以从这个标点符号推断出她的感觉应该是十分surprised(惊讶的)。

4. 选A。本文讲述Jean交了个十分投缘的网友，后来却发现对方原来只是一个12岁的小男孩。通过这个故事，短文意在告戒人们不要轻易相信Q友，答案选A。

A friend of mine named Paul received an expensive car from his brother as a Christmas present. On Christmas Eve when Paul came out of his office, a street urchin(顽童) was walking around the shining car. “Is this your car, sir?” he asked.

Paul answered, “Yes, my brother gave it to me for Christmas.” The boy was surprised. “You mean your brother gave it to you and it did cost you nothing? Sir, I wish…” He hesitated(犹豫). Paul thought of course he knew what the boy wanted, but what the boy said surprised him greatly. “I wish,” the boy went on, “that I could be a brother like that.” Paul looked at the boy in surprise, and then he said again, “Would you like to take a ride in my car?” “Oh yes, I’d love to,” the boy answered.

After a short ride, the boy turned and with his eyes shining, said, “Sir, would you mind driving in front of my house?”

Paul smiled a little. He thought he knew what the boy wanted. He wanted to show his neighbors that he could ride home in a big car. But Paul was wrong again. “Will you stop where those two steps are?” the boy asked.

He ran up to the steps. Then in a short while Paul heard him coming back, but he was not coming fast. He was

carrying his little crippled(残疾的) brother. He sat down on the step and pointed to the car.

“There he is, Buddy, just like I told you upstairs. His brother gave it to him for Christmas and it didn’t cost him a cent. And some day I’m going to give you one just like it…then you can see for yourself all the nice things in the Christmas windows that I’ve been trying to tell you about.”

Paul got out and lifted the boy to the front seat of his car. The shining-eyed elder brother climbed in beside him and the three began an unforgettable holiday ride.

根据以上短文内容，然后从每题所给的四个选项中选择最佳选项。

1. The street urchin was very surprised when _______.

A. he met Paul B. Paul told him about the car

C. Paul received an expensive car D. he was walking around the car

2. From the story we can see the urchin _______.

A. wished to give his brother a car B. wanted Paul’s brother to give him a car

C. wished he could have a brother like Paul’s D. wished Paul could be a brother like that

3. The urchin asked Paul to stop his car in front of his house ______.

A. to show he had a rich friend B. to show his neighbors the big car

C. to let his brother ride in the car D. to tell his brother about his wish

4. We can find from the story that _______.

A. the urchin wished Paul to give his car to Buddy B. the urchin wished to have a rich brother

C. the urchin had a deep love for his brotherD. the urchin’s wish came true in the end

5. The best name of the story is _______.

A. A Christmas PresentB. Paul, a Kind-hearted Person

C. A Brother Like That D. An Unforgettable Holiday Ride

【答案与解析】

1. 选B。根据第2段中的 Paul answered, “Yes, my brother gave it to me for Christmas.” The boy was surprised.可知答案为B。

2. 选A。The urchin 指着 Paul 的车对他的弟弟说：“And someday I’m going to give you one just like it…”所以 the urchin 希望也能给他弟弟一辆车。

3. 选D。The urchin 要 Paul 把车停在他家门前后，立即扶着他残疾的弟弟出来，让他看看Paul的车，然后告诉弟弟他想为他做的事，所以他只是想告诉他弟弟他的愿望。

4. 选C。The urchin 在坐过 Paul 的车后没有忘记弟弟，并且承诺也要给弟弟买一辆车，可见他对弟弟有着一份深深的爱。答案选C，而A、B、D三项与文章不符。

5. 选C。通读全文，我们不得不为 The urchin 的行为所感动，他是一个好哥哥。文章就是讲述了他这样的一位好哥哥，C选项最合适。

Last Friday a storm swept through two villages in the New Territories, destroying (摧毁) fourteen homes. Seven others were so badly damaged (破坏) that their owners had to leave them, and fifteen others had broken windows or broken roofs. One person was killed, several were badly hurt and taken to hospital, and a number of other people received smaller hurt. Altogether over two hundred people were homeless after the storm.

A farmer, Mr. Tan, said that the storm began early in the morning and lasted for over an hour.

“I was eating with my wife and children,” he said, “When we heard a loud noise. A few minutes later our house fell down on top of us. We tried our best to climb out but then I saw that one of my children was missing. I went back inside and found him, safe but very frightened.”

Mrs. Woo Mei Fong said that her husband had just left for work when she felt that her house was moving. She ran outside at once with her children.

“There was no time to take anything,” she said, “A few minutes later, the roof came down.”

Soldiers helped to take people out of the flooded (水淹的) area and the welfare department (福利机构) brought

them food, clothes and shelter.

1. How many homes altogether (总共) were damaged in the storm?

A. Fourteen B. Twenty-one C. Twenty-nine D. Thirty-six

2. Where was Mr. Tan when the storm first began?

A. He was in bed.B. He was inside the house.

C. He was outside the house. D. He was on the roof.

3. Mrs. Woo and her family didn’t get hurt because _________.

A. her husband knew there would be a stormB. they were all outside the house when the storm became worse

C. she felt the house was moving D. the welfare department helped her

4. The underlined word “shelter” in this passage means ______.

A. something to eat B. something to wear

C. somewhere to study D. somewhere to stay

5. Which of he following may be the best title for this passage?

A. A Terrible Storm B. A Lucky WomanC. Good SoldiersD. Clever People

【答案与解析】一场暴风雨席卷了两个村庄——不仅摧毁了房屋，也是造成了人员伤亡，还有二百多人无家可归。

1. D。根据第一段出现的三个数字14，7，15即可知D为正确答案。

2. B。根据“I was eating with my wife and children.”可排除A和D，由下文可知C也不合题意。

3. C。答案即在即在…she felt that her house was moving中。

4. D。考虑全文意思及最末一段，可知暴风雨过后，房屋倒塌，人员伤亡。人们不仅需要食品、衣物，还需要住的地方。

5. A。这篇阅读材料主要描述了暴风雨袭击的过程。显然选项A是本文的主旨。

Bill Clinton took office (就职)on January 20,1993 and became the 42nd U. S. President (总统). He is the first U. S. president who was born after World War II. He is also one of the youngest of all U. S. presidents.

Clinton was born in a poor family. Three months before he was born, his father, William Blats, died. When he was small, his mother remarried (再婚) Norger Clinton, so the boy’s family name was changed.

In the summer of 1963, Clinton was asked to visit the city of Washington. During his visit, he met President Kennedy in the White House. At that time, he wanted to become a president, and now he is!

1. Clinton became the 42nd U. S. president when he was______.

A. thirty B. about forty C. forty-seven D. 37years old

2. Clinton’s father died______.

A. after 1946B. before Clinton was born C. before World War II D. when Clinton was young

3. Why was the boy’s name changed?

A. Because he became a presidentB. Because his family was very poor

C. Because his father was deadD. Because his mother remarried Norger Clinton

4. In 1963 Clinton came to the city of Washington___.

A. to take part in an exam B. for his holidays C. for a visit D. to have a meeting with Kennedy

5. Which one of the following is Not right?

A. Everybody can visit the president in the White House

B. All the U. S. presidents work in the White Horse

C. Clinton wanted to become a president after he saw President Kennedy

D. The White House is in the city of Washington

答案与解析：

1. C. 根据He is the first U. S. president who was born after World War II这一句话，可知克林顿是在第二次世界大战之后出生的。故可推知答案为C。

2. B. 本题属细节理解题。根据Three months before he was born, his father, William Blats, died可知答案。

3. D. 本题同样也是细节理解题。答案就在第二段的末句中。

4. B. 短文末段的首句已交代提非常清楚。

5. C. 文章的最后一句话是解答本题的关键。

We know the mosquito very well. Mosquitoes fly everywhere. They can be found almost all over the world, and there are more than 2,500 kinds of them.

No one likes the mosquito. But the mosquito may decide that she loves you. She? Yes, she. It’s true that male mosquito doesn’t bite(咬) and only the female mosquito bites because she needs blood to lay eggs. She is always looking for things or people she wants to bite. If she likes what she finds, she bites. But if she doesn’t like your blood, she will turn to someone else for more delicious blood. Next time a mosquito bites you, just remember you are chosen. You’re different from the others!

If the mosquito likes you, she lands on your body without letting you know. She bites you so quickly and quietly that you may not feel anything different. After she bites, you will have an itch(痒) on your body because she puts something from her mouth together with your blood. By the time the itching begins, and she has flown away. And then what happens? Well, after her delicious dinner, the mosquito feels tired. She just wants to find a place to have a good rest. There, on a leaf or a wall, she begins to lay eggs, hundreds of eggs.

1. “Mosquito” means _______ in Chinese.

A. 苍蝇B. 蜻蜓 C. 跳蚤D. 蚊子

2. We know mosquitoes very well because ___________.

A. they can be found easily B. they fly here and there

C. there are many kinds of themD. they can fly

3. If the mosquito doesn’t bite you, it will ________.

A. get angry with you B. be afraid of you C. make a lot of noise D. choose another one

4. The mosquito bites you _________.

A. when you’re asleep B. because you have choose it

C. too quickly to let you knowD. but doesn’t like you

5. Which of the following sentences is wrong?

A. The itching begins after the mosquito bites you.

B. You feel terrible when the mosquito bites you.

C. Mosquitoes use blood to lay eggs.

D. All the mosquitoes don’t like to bite people for blood.

答案与解析：

1. D。“吸血”和“会飞”是mosquitoes的两个主要特征。根据这两个特点，联系生活常识，即可选定答案。另外，读罢全文之后，也能将其余选项予以排除。

2. B。“We know the mosquito very well. Mosquitoes fly everywhere.”一句是答案的出处。

3. D。答案就在“But if she doesn’t like your blood, she will turn to someone else for more delicious blood.”这句话之中。

4. C。答案的依据是“?she lands on your body without letting you know. She bites you so quickly and quietly that you may not feel anything different.”一句。

5. B。其余三项在文中都有明确的说明。根据上面那个小题的内容，B项明显是错误的。

Shlander is a man from space. He thinks the people and things on the earth are very strange. He is now writing a letter to his friend at home. Here is part of his letter. Read it and answer the questions.

篇三：初中英语幽默小故事

初中英语幽默小故事:

奖赏

A lady lost her handbag. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."

The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."

The Bad Check

One day a middle-aged woman telephoned her doctor.

“Doctor,” she said, “I'm having a lot of trouble with my shoulder. It hurts all the time and I can't sleep at night.”

“Come in this afternoon.” said the doctor, “and I'll have a look at it.”

That afternoon the woman went to the doctor's office. He gave her a very thorough examination, asked a lot of questions, and listened carefully to her answers.

“Well, my dear,” he said, “It looks like you have arthritis.”

“Arthritis?”she said.“Oh, no! What am I going to do?”

“Don't worry,” he answered, “I'll give you a prescription and the pain will go away．”Then the doctor took out his pen, wrote a prescription, and handed her his bill for fifty dollars. The woman opened her pocketbook, wrote out a fifty-dollar check, said goodbye, and left.

The doctor mailed the check to his bank, but a week later he was surprised to find that the check was returned to him, marked “Insufficient Funds”. He telephoned the woman immediately.

“I'm very sorry to have to tell you this.” he began, “but your check came back this week.”

“Oh, really?”said the woman,“ That's quite a coincidence.”

“What do you mean?”asked the doctor.

“Well, ”said the woman, “so did my arthritis.”

You're Right

Once Mr Hey went to a small town with high mountains all around it. It was a quiet and cool place and some rich people liked to go there for their holidays. A week later, before Mr Hey left the town, he paid thirty pounds for a parrot. When he came back, he began to teach the bird to speak. He tried his best, but it learned only one sentence,“You're right.”He was disappointed and said to the bird angrily，“How foolish you are!”

“You're right,”said the parrot.

The next day Mr Hey took the bird to the market and wanted to sell it for eighty pounds. Before long a fat man came and looked at the parrot carefully. Then he asked,“How much is it, sir?”

Mr Hey didn't hurry to answer and said,“It's a clever bird, you know. It can speak and sing.”Then he said to the bird,“Are you really worth eighty pounds, my dear?

“You're right,”said the parrot.

The fat man liked it at once and bought it. When he took it home he asked it a lot of questions, but it could only say,“You are right.”

He felt very sorry for it and said to himself angrily,“Why did I spend eighty pounds on such a foolish bird? What a fool I am!

“You're right, answered the parrot.

Hearing this, the man couldn't help laughing and set it free．

伊索寓言——牧童和狼

A Shepherd-boy, who tended his flock not far from a village, used to amuse himself at times in crying out"wolf !wolf!"Twice or thrice his trick succeeded .The whole village came running out to his assistance when all the return they got was to be laughed at for their pains .At last one day the wolf came indeed .The boy cried out in earnest. But his neighbors, supposing him to be at his old sport, paid no heed to his cries, and the wolf devoured the sheep. So the boy learned, when it was too late, that liars are not believed even when they tell the truth.

译文：

一个放羊的孩子在离村子不远的地方放羊。他为了开心寻乐常喊："狼来了！狼来了！"他的恶作剧有两三次达到了目的。全村的人都跑来帮忙，而他们所得到的回报却是一顿嘲笑，白费了心力。最后，有一天狼真的来了。这个孩子认真地大喊起来。但是他的邻人们却以为他又在耍把戏，谁都不理会他的喊叫，于是狼把羊吃了。因此这牧童得到了教训：爱说谎的人，甚至在他说真话的时候，也没人相信他，但是他知道得太晚了。

词汇：

Shepherd-boy 牧羊童

trick 诡计

at his old sport 耍他的老把戏