帮忙修改雅思小作文,.剑九的Test4..顺便帮我估一下能有多少分.This graph indicates the consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projection until 2030,which can be easily analyzed that the energy using of the country has sh
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帮忙修改雅思小作文,.剑九的Test4..顺便帮我估一下能有多少分.This graph indicates the consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projection until 2030,which can be easily analyzed that the energy using of the country has sh
帮忙修改雅思小作文,.剑九的Test4..
顺便帮我估一下能有多少分.
This graph indicates the consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projection until 2030,which can be easily analyzed that the energy using of the country has sharply escalated and moreover it is likely to keep increasing next 20 years.
According to the graph the most popular energy amid the states must be petrol and oil which may be nearly 50 quadrillion units in 2030.And the runner-up goes to coal,the consumption of coal is likely to reach 30 quadrillion units until 2030,nearly double its consumption in 1980.Then natural gas takes the third place which is believed to be in line from 2015 at about 25 quadrillion units until 2030.
Next,turning into the modern energy part,the first point to note is that nuclear and solar/wind energy attract more attention which seems to have a brilliant prospect in the future,due to its incessant increasing since 1980.Oppositely,hydropower is quiet undesirable,hydropower using is merely one-tenth of ,although it is marvelous in some developed countries.
In conclusion,it is quiet significant that the traditional energy such as coal natural gas petrol and oil plays a main role in the total consumption.Oppositely,the modern energy using looks quiet pale.
帮忙修改雅思小作文,.剑九的Test4..顺便帮我估一下能有多少分.This graph indicates the consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projection until 2030,which can be easily analyzed that the energy using of the country has sh
我想说,楼上的评论不准确.
你的字数192,没超200就不算多,雅思考官的范文也有到这个字数的.
其次,你的观点很有见地,而且表达很准确.
所以保守估计至少有7分.
有小的语法错误,但不影响表达.
比如第一段,in the next 20 years,这句话有点冗长,建议拆两句,比较推荐用英式拼写(虽然无所谓,但考官都是英国的,他们看着别扭)
你第三段next开头用的没有问题
还有,非限制性定语从句用的有点多,就是你那个which,换个句型哈.
注意一下你标点的使用,漏了几个逗号.
我很喜欢你的语言风格,很像考官的范文.
还是在大作文上多下点功夫吧
看好你,加油
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