the problem with students in Grade 9 is that if we should keep our hobby.

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the problem with students in Grade 9 is that if we should keep our hobby.
the problem with students in Grade 9 is that if we should keep our hobby.

the problem with students in Grade 9 is that if we should keep our hobby.
这句话总体上是没有语法问题的.
但应该写为The problem of sutents in Grade 9 is that whether we should keep our hoppy or not比较地道一些

有问题,应该把we改成they,因为前文是for Grade 9 students。
把if改成whether
如有问题,欢迎继续追问:)
求采纳~